It was a hectic life I was leading. Things were really busy around the hospital, but I was learning the ropes and beginning to feel confident in the decisions I was making. Of course, the wild sex life I found myself embarking on made for an even wilder ride in my personal life. I had toned down the midnight exhibitionism around the hospital, but still got a thrill out of doing it every few days.

I really liked the work I was I doing-not just talking about the sexual stuff either. Helping people during times of trauma, hopelessness and despair was rewarding in and of itself. There was no question in my mind I had chosen the right profession and actually I had trained for it since my high school days working as an aide in different nursing homes.

Still, at 22, I hadn't experienced what I knew unfortunately would come one day. Death! I hated the thought but the reality was not everyone was going to survive. I knew sooner or later, probably sooner than later, that patient would come into life and leave it in a tragic way. I guess all I could do was provide comfort in that case to him or her.

Well, death reared it's ugly head in the person of a man named Joshua Parsons. Mr. Parsons was a 61 year-old black man. I still remember reading his chart before entering his room. Diabetes!

Immediately I remembered everything I had learned in nursing school. The disease is bad enough for anyone, and for a black man his age, it wasn't uncommon for him to have it. But, it was the prognosis on his chart that caught my eye. It wasn't good and it appeared doubtful he would leave the hospital alive.

Putting on my bravest face I walked into his room. I guess I was expecting an overweight man, but I was wrong. Instead, I saw a slender man lying in the hospital bed with a cheerful smile on his face. I already knew from his chart he had had his right leg amputated just below the knee and I was certain his doctor had let him know the outcome of the disease that now ravaged his body.

About the only thing I knew for sure was that regular exercise can hold the disease at bay and physical activity can actually reduce the need for insulin and counter the emotional wear and tear associated with having a chronic illness. But, in the advanced state of the disease, things were doubtful for a man of his age.

Everything was against him; primarily his race and his age were factors working against him. The smile on his face gave me an uneasy feeling. Here he was, a man about to die, possibly soon, and that smile, a very broad smile exuding an inner-peace met me. I wanted to cry when I saw the bravery of this man, but I shook it off as best as I could, tried to maintain some professionalism, and smiled back at him.

"So, Mr. Parsons, how are we doing today?" I asked him. "My name is Dawn, I'll be your nurse on this shift until you leave!" I guess I tried to end it on an upbeat note waiting to see what his reaction would be.

"Well, little lady, you can call me Josh or Joshua, but please don't call me Mr. Parsons. Makes me feel old," he laughed.

"Everything going okay, anything I can get you?"

"No, I'm fine. Really, I'm sure you have other people that you need to take care of. Old Josh, well, he ain't going nowhere."

There was a warmness to his voice. That didn't help. Actually, it just made me feel even worse. Going through my mind were all the little things I had complained of during my life and here was this man, a man who knew he was dying, and he seemed okay with it. I felt ashamed of myself and vowed never to sweat the small stuff again.

My lower lip started to quiver. I bit down on it. "Fine, but if you need anything, anything at all, you just push that little button there," I told him, knowing he had probably already been instructed on what to do. "I'll be back to check on you later."

"Thanks," he responded. "I'll be looking forward to seeing you later. Now get out there and take care of them sick people." He laughed quietly to himself. I smiled and turned to leave the room.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can get you?" I asked again.

"No. I'll buzz if I need something. Just going to do some reading and I have some cards I want to write out. Can you send them out from here for me?"

"You get them ready, I'll make sure they get mailed." He was still smiling as I walked out the door.

I made my way back down to the nursing station. There was one nurse there, an older woman. She must have sensed something was troubling me.

"What's wrong?" she asked me.

"I looked at the identification badge hanging from her lapel. "Nothing, Phyllis, I guess."

"You look more than a little down tonight and you just started, what's up?"

"I just met Mr. Parsons, I don't know." I really did know, but I wasn't sure what to tell her. I mean, I was a nurse and we're supposed to be able to handle this stuff I thought.

Phyllis waded through a stack of folders. "Oh, here it is," she said. "Yeah, Mr. Parsons, Joshua Parsons. Diabetes. Doesn't look good, nope, not good at all."

"I don't think he's leaving the hospital alive, not from what I read."

"Maybe, you never know," she consoled me obviously seeing the pained expression in my eyes. "You're young, this must be the first patient you've had in this condition I'm guessing."

"Yeah, it is. Seems like there should be something I can do to make it all better, but there's not."

"That's what doctors do. You just try to make him comfortable. You want me to see if I can get another nurse to take over for you. We can switch some patients around."

"No," I replied. "I want to work with him."

"Glad to hear you say that," she responded. "Not like in college is it? It's tough stuff. I remember the first patient I had that died and I remember many more after that. It's a sad thing each time, but we have to do our job as best we can. It doesn't really get any easier. You try to disassociate yourself, but it's hard, especially the first time."

"Does it work, I mean this disassociation thing?"

"For some people. It'll drive you nuts, but I guess in a way, be glad if it never completely leaves. Some people you'll develop a relationship with and that'll make it worse; others, well, you won't but it doesn't take away the sting. Dealing with the families is the hardest part, but Mr. Parsons, well, he doesn't have any family, not anyone close."

"He's making out cards, I guess I assumed he did."

"Doesn't look like it from what I'm reading. You let me know if you need help, okay?"

"I will, thanks Phyllis. By the way, I'm Dawn."

"Well, Dawn, you get going and check on your other patients and like I say, I'm here for you if you need me."

"See you later and thanks," I told her as I shuffled off down the hall to check on my next patient.

I was almost afraid to pick up the chart for this one, but I did. Female, age 34. It looked like she would be released the next day. I made the rest of my rounds checking on my people but my thoughts kept being pulled back to Joshua, Mr. Joshua Parsons.

During breaks, I spent time talking with Josh over the next few nights. I even stayed after my shift ended to chat. Phyllis saw me one night and warned me about getting to close but she let me it go. I guess she knew I had to handle this my way. It got to the point where I felt I had known him all of my life. I mean he was just so easy to talk to and all.

It was interesting to listen to him too. Everything was so much different when he was growing up compared to how things were then. I remembered dating a black guy in college and how it all seemed so natural. As a result, I was exposed to many of his black friends. Most were pleasant to be around but some were very nasty and aggressive. I remembered one in particular that had referred to me as a "white slut looking for black cock".

Josh seemed floored by the comment made to me. In his day, he explained, most black men were neither aggressive nor assertive. They may have had a fantasy about going out with a white girl, but that's just about all it was-a fantasy.

He told me about a white girl he went out with when he was in his twenties and how strange it all was then. People, even other blacks, would stare and sometimes make nasty comments to him, and her too.

Times for him changed just as they changed for all of us I guess. He later married but unfortunately his wife died about five years before I met him. He had one son that kept in contact with him, but not on a regular basis. His son lived in California now and Josh had remained in Ohio.

Because of the distance, there were few visits and occasional phone calls, but that was it as far as family went. I found out later that's who he wrote all the cards to, sometimes as many as five a day. I guess I could have known but I never once checked any of the envelopes he had addressed and given to me for mailing.

Josh hadn't dated since his Emily died. I was kind of surprised by that fact. He had a great outlook on life and wasn't a bad looking man at all. Even during the short time I had been with him, whenever I was feeling down about anything, I knew I could count on him to cheer me up with a quick joke or flash of that smile of his. I knew it should have been the other way around, but that's just the way it was. I was his nurse but I think at that point he was taking better care of me than I was of him.

He led our conversations to my life. Of course I couldn't tell him everything I had been up to. I was pretty sure he wouldn't understand about my exhibitionism on the hospital floors late at night. Still, he couldn't figure out why a "young, good-looking gal like you isn't dating anyone."

That just led to more conversations, not just about that, but about his Emily. He missed her, there was no doubt about that. The companionship, the emotional and the physical comfort she had provided for him.

It was the third night when he opened up a little more and started talking about physical needs. You know, sexual needs. I was surprised when he brought it up but his manner was such that it wasn't at all startling and certainly not upsetting to me. Everything he said had such a natural ring to it. It was impossible to be offended by anything he said.

"Yeah, it's been five years now since I've been with a woman," he told me. "Looks like now it'll never happen. Sometimes I really miss the soft touch of a lady. I don't expect you to understand."

Well, I did understand, or at least I believed I did. We talked about it some more. I felt a sense of pity, no, sorrow would be a better word for it, for him. It just didn't seem fair.

When I got up to leave to make my rounds during that conversation, I looked down at Josh. There was that constant smile on his face. "Maybe we can do something to take care of that for you," I told him, smiling back at him.

"It would be a dying man's dream!" he said, his eyes sparkling up into mine.

"Josh, I'll see later, maybe after I get off, I promise."

"Your black knight shall await his princess," he laughed.

I laughed with him as I left the room. I knew I'd be back. It wasn't hard to read between the lines a dying man's last request. If I could make it happen I would do it. That, I knew that for sure.

My shift ended and I made a trip down to the lounge to clean up and change. Nothing fancy, a skirt and blouse. Of course, that and a pair of shoes was all I wore. I didn't want to hinder my plans with a bra and panties. I knew I couldn't get into one of my wild outfits and return to my own floor.

Besides, those were reserved for areas where I wasn't known and I doubted even putting on the wig would have made a difference. The third shift nurses would have recognized me. Besides, those nights were to fulfill my own slutty fantasies and make some folks happy at the same time. This was different and I wanted it to be special.

I walked quickly down the hall to his room. His door was still cracked open and the light from hall dimly lit his room. Josh certainly didn't seem to have any problems falling asleep. I could hear him lightly snoring.

Walking quietly into his room, I looked down at Josh. As he slept, he looked so peaceful, just like when he was awake. Even in his sleep he appeared to have a contented smile on his face.

He was covered with a sheet pulled up to the middle of his chest. Pulling it down slowly, I was surprised to see he wasn't dressed. I guess maybe he was expecting me back as promised and most definitely understood the message I had sent to him when I left earlier in the evening. I looked down and admired his naked body. Despite the diabetes, Josh had kept himself in good shape.

I stood quietly, my eyes taking in his body. Looking down at the still cock, without even thinking about it, I reached down with my small hand to touch it. I moved my fingers lovingly over his dark cock. It started to stir a bit and then grow under the pressure my squeezing fingers.

I moved down to examine it as closely as I could in the darkened room. As my hand continued to move, now up and down the shaft, I could the burning flames of desire in my pussy. I really loved the contrast of creamy white hand moving up and down that dark cock. There was something so erotic about it.

Moving my face even closer, I placed the head of the now rock-hard cock in my mouth and sucked ever so lightly. I could feel the precum start to leak out of the top and sipped the gooey substance in.

Releasing his cock from the grasp of my mouth and hand I took off my skirt and let it fall to the floor. I stood naked before the sleeping man from the waist down. I unbuttoned the blouse and let it drop too, Lifting my body slowly trying to be as quiet as possible, I moved onto the small hospital bed.

As delicately and quietly as I could, I straddled his body with my now naked body, spreading my legs wide apart. Lowering my body gently down, I took his black cock in my hands and guided it into my tight, wet pussy.

The whole thing almost didn't seem real. It was almost like being in a dream. You know, when that seems so real but it's not. But this was real. I moved slowly up and down trying not to wake him. I could feel his hips slowly move up to meet mine as we fucked.

Without warning, still sleeping I assumed, he grabbed my breasts swaying in front of him. I felt his hands but my head was tilted back as I slowly rocked back and forth fucking him and didn't pay attention except to the sensation of his satisfying touch on my nipples.

"Oooh, baby, do it!" I heard him whisper excitedly. The voice startled me for a moment. I looked down and saw his eyes staring up at me. Josh was awake!

I could feel his cock pulsating deep inside of me and knew he was ready to fill me with a load of stored up hot cum. Just the thought of him coming inside of me pushed me over the edge. We came together. I bit down on my lip to quiet the moaning sounds trying to escape from my throat. I could feel the spasms churning in my stomach. I knew we were both fully satisfied, I slumped forward laying on his body. My breasts pressed flat against his chest. But, I wasn't done yet.

There was something else I knew he wanted. He had alluded to it during one of our earlier conversations when they had turned to his physical needs. He wasn't really all that direct about it-too much of a gentleman I guess, but I understood and I knew I wanted it as much as he did.

He had just fucked my wet, hot pussy with his cock. Now I slowly raised my body off of his and laid next to him as best I could on the small hospital bed. With my fingertips, I slowly raked the nails lightly back and forth over his cock.

I could feel it start to grow again under my tender, scraping touch. I could feel the heat of his dark cock again sizzling against my fingers. I kept my fingers moving along the sides of the black cock I held so lovingly now. His hands went again to my supple breasts caressing and then pinching my nipples lightly causing shivers to run down my spine. He lowered his head taking a nipple in his mouth.

His tongue swirled over and around my nipple. I could feel his teeth lightly bite and nip and then his tongue again moved over the hardened areola. He mouth closed over it and he sucked the nipple hard. I was delirious with pleasure.

The feel of his cock was warm and hard. It twitched in my hand. The precum oozed out of the black cockhead as I stroked his cock. Tightening my grip and moving up and down, no longer sliding up and down the entire length of his dark shaft but holding tightly in one spot. More of the clear liquid poured out of the tip.

I felt intoxicated just watching it roll out from the head and sliding slowly down to my fingers wrapped tightly around the hard black shaft jerking in my hand. A hot feeling coursed through my body and a tingling sensation engulfed my pussy. I could feel my mouth start to water as I watched his black cock trying to break free from my grip. I moved my body up and over his letting my lips and tongue trace their way down his chest to his belly.

Opening my hand slightly and moved my partially open lips over the head of his cock before taking it fully into my mouth. The shaft was so hard and yet the head felt almost spongey and soft. I took his hard dick even further into mouth. Moving my hand in perfect unison with my mouth up and down the length of his cock I stopped to pause for a moment. My tongue swirled gently around the head. I enjoyed the precum still dripping from his cock and onto to my moving tongue.

Maybe I had spent to much time sucking the sweet nectar leaking out. His hand moved down to his cock and he gently fed it back into my mouth. I could hear his moans and groans filling the hospital room and at this point his hips began to thrust into my face.

His hands went to the back of my head and his hips pumped faster up and down. I knew he was going to come soon and wanted to drink down all of the love juice that had reloaded and filled his balls. His cock was wet from the saliva of my mouth mixed with his precum. I circled my finger and thumb lightly around the hard cock pistoning in and out of my mouth.

Even though I knew he was on the verge of coming and he wanted to come, and I wanted him to, I stopped. I removed his cock from my mouth. With my hand still stroking slowly the length of his slick, black cock, I looked up into his eyes. Even though they were half-closed, he saw me and smiled down at me. I smiled up at him and returned my mouth to the head of his wet cock licking and sucking it deeper than before into my mouth.

I could feel the hard black cock throbbing in my mouth as it banged between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. His hands, now pressing on the back of my head, pushed down harder and his hips jerked upward. I pushed my face all the way down to the black pubic hair at the base of the hard cock. My lips tightened at the base. His thick, curly pubic hair pushed against my nose and eyes. I sucked him tightly into my mouth holding his cock deeply in my mouth.

A loud groan from him suddenly filled the room. I braced myself for what I knew was coming-him! His hot cum squirted with tremendous force far in the back of my throat. I started to choke from the volume of the first blast of cum. I put my hands on his hips forcing my head up getting my mouth halfway up the thick, pulsating cock as the second blast of cum exploded in my mouth.

The third shot was too much for me to handle. I had moved my head further up the dark shaft of his cock until my lips had locked around the mushroom shaped head. This last spray of heated cum forced its way out of my mouth and started to trickle out of my mouth and down the length of his cock to his thick patch of pubic hair.

The whole area below my mouth glistened with his cum. Taking his cock out of my mouth completely I slid my tongue down the side of the black beauty until my nose once again mashed against his pubic region. I licked and sucked the spilled, now cooling, cum cleaning him off with my tongue and mouth. When I finished, there was no trace of cum left in his hairy crotch, but the dampness from my mouth left the area soaked.

I nuzzled the soft, black cock in my mouth as I lay quietly on the edge of the bed. I was pretty certain he wasn't going to get it up again but I continued sucking lightly. His cock slowly softened in my mouth. My hand moved up his chest and played with gently with his nipple.

Pulling my mouth off of his cock I looked up at him. It was just light enough to see that smile on his face; the one that never seemed to disappear from the first night I had walked into his room to then. He looked down at me. There was a loving look in his eyes. I moved my eyes back down and gazed at his black cock. It was bigger now, but still not hard. I took it back in kissing making slow love to it with my lips and tongue.

I'm not sure how much time had gone by, but I somehow I knew I had to leave. I got up slowly and stood next to the bed. My hand rested on his for a moment. I took it away slowly and reached down for my clothes. I put the blouse on and pulled the skirt on.

I leaned over to kiss him lightly on the mouth. My blouse was still unbuttoned. His hand reached inside and massaged my breasts and nipples again. I didn't want to leave but knew I had to. He pulled me down again. My tongue pushed gently into his mouth and touched his. We kissed maybe for a few seconds.

"I have to go," I told him.

"I know," he said. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

Buttoning my blouse, I leaned over one more time to kiss him and then, smiling once again at him, I turned to walk out. "Josh, I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Hope so," was his only response, except for that never ending smile.

I left and when I got back to work the next night, Josh wasn't there. Panic spread through my body at first fearing the worst. Well the worst had not happened. Josh had been discharged. Apparently they had decided to send him home and give him home care.

In case you're wondering, Josh didn't die. Death had eluded both of us for now. It would be nice to think I played a part in that, and who knows-maybe in some small way I did. I stayed in touch with him calling him from time to time. I even stopped over to his home once. The last I knew, when I left the area, he was still alive and doing well.