My best efforts at getting divorced from my loving wife had not been successful. I had plenty of money to tide me over for a while so I decided a trip to Reno was in store. All I had to do was go there, apply for residency and wait out the required time period. At least I could get it done even if she didn't sign any papers. I was never able to figure out her reluctance to the divorce. After the fiasco in Iowa I lost track of the pair of them. It didn't seem to be important at this point. My next scheduled job was eight months away in Holland for Union Oil.

I had no trouble finding a place to live because my needs were simple. If you can live on an oil platform for weeks at a time you can live anywhere. The complex I was in was a motel that had seen better days. It was all on one floor with a gravel parking lot and an obvious lack of landscaping. The rooms had one-piece mini kitchen units, a bath and a bed. No problem.

It was easy to find a lawyer to handle my divorce and it looked like I had found one who knew what he was doing at last. All the required paper work was mailed to Callies' parents home back in Pennsylvania. I assumed she was keeping some sort of contact with them. She grew up on a farm and was a little tomboyish. I guess that is what I liked about her. It would also cause me a little problem.

I took up geocaching to kill time while I was waiting. I guess most people doing the Reno divorce thing get temporary jobs but I didn't need to. I had a small Suzuki Sammi to run around in and plenty of time to explore the countryside. There was plenty to do in the casinos but I wasn't interested.

My first indication of a problem came after about three weeks. The complex where I was living had cheap plastic mail boxes nailed to the wall by the office. The post office would not do individual door-to-door deliveries. It was still daylight but the shadows were getting long when I returned from caching near Tahoe.

I parked in front of my unit and walked over to see if I had any mail. Most of what I got was for occupant or the previous people who lived in the apartment. As I reached into my box a small section of stucco seemed to explode a few inches from my head. I dropped the mail and then as I stooped to pick it up I heard a dull thud as a small hole appeared on my neighbor's mailbox. My senses finally caught on to what was happening and just when I turned to run I felt a stinging pain in my left shoulder.

Thank goodness for a nosey manager. He popped out of the office door when he noticed what was happening. I realized now that they were bullets but I had heard no shots. Whoever was trying to hit me disappeared. Twenty minutes later the police and EMT people arrived.

Detective Dwayne Greene was standing over my bed when I came around. They had to put me under to sew up my wound, which was considered to be very nasty. It didn't get much meat, almost a flesh wound, but the damage was extensive. There was no bullet.

"Mister Terrell, I am detective Greene. I sure would appreciate if you could help me out a little on what happened. So far all we know that someone who knew where you lived was trying to kill you or at least shoot you. Any thing you can give us?"

"Detective Greene, I am one of your temporary residents, here to get a divorce from an uncooperative spouse. I will freely give you any information I have if it will help you. Damn my shoulder hurts. What the hell hit me?"

"There was a folded up magazine in your neighbors mail box and one of the slugs was found between the pages. It was one of those new .17 mini bullets. Fast as hell and they do a lot of damage when they hit. The one that hit your arm and the wall both exploded on impact. That is why your wound was so bad."

"I assume that if it had hit me anywhere else I would not be talking to you right now."

"Very good assumption Mister Terrell."

"My wife's name is Callie Terrell. She is originally from Pennsylvania but I have no idea where she is now. I have been trying for the last two years, unsuccessfully, to get a divorce, which she refuses to give. She will get no life insurance when I die and I have no idea why she wants to stay married to me, or wants me dead. Her parents address and phone number are in my wallet."

After exchanging information Detective Greene left to see if he could find anything out. I had no idea where he could start. I guess that is why I am not a cop. I stayed in the hospital for a couple days, very heavily sedated, which was not unpleasant. The nurses were nice and the food was better than what I was making in my room. Shifting gears and driving with one arm in a sling was difficult so I spent the next few days watching movies and drinking beer.

Sunday came around and my arm was good enough to drive, if I was careful. I decided to do a little caching around the Nixon area. I jumped in the Sammi with a couple bottles of water and some Jerky. Just as I backed out I remembered the GPS was still on the dresser. I had gone about ten feet and stopped. As I opened the door a small piece of metal went skipping across the gravel. It took me about two seconds to realize what it was and another two seconds to run and dive as far as I could before my little Sammi exploded all over the parking lot. Then the gas tank went up. I was far enough away that I wasn't hurt by the blast but I scraped the side of my face open when I hit the gravel.

"Mister Terrell, I see you are still on someone's most wanted list"

Detective Greene was smiling but I could tell he didn't think it was funny. He sat down beside of me on a concrete planter that held two dead pieces of vegetation. I didn't say anything just sort of sighed.

"Since I am here I can update you a little. I got good news and bad news. Last week a gentleman in Silver City listed a .17 Varmint rifle for sale. He sold it to a pregnant lady who paid cash and left a false name."

"Was she alone or was there a man with her?"

"The guy said no one was with her and she was driving a yellow VW beetle, one of the new ones. He gave her two boxes of shells with the rifle. It also had a ten X scope. You should have heard some sort of discharge from it."

"Well I think we know who is mad at me. She was traveling with a guy named Clay Bixler. His parents still live in West Chester as far as I know. They might be able to help you locate the pair of them. Here, this might be of interest to you." I handed the metal piece to him.

"Damn, this is a military hand grenade trigger. I guess that will make it a lot easier for the bomb squad. "

"I am guessing it was a wire attached to the pin and the universal joint. I moved about ten feet when I saw it pop loose."

"You are one lucky man Mister Terrell. If fact you were lucky twice."

"Do you think you can fix it up so I won't have to be lucky a third time?"

For some weird reason, we both laughed.

The nurses welcomed me back and we had a good laugh at my situation. They all agreed that I was not date material. At least they didn't put a big old bandage on it. It would air heal in a couple weeks. Maybe if I were lucky I would get a few character scars out of it. I needed something to make my appearance a bit more interesting. Detective Greene dropped me off at the apartment. My Sammi had been towed away and all that was left was a big black spot on the gravel. The next day I went car shopping.

Ok, I admit it. I was really starting to get worried. There was a crazy woman trying to kill me and I didn't know what to do. After picking up a nice little Tracker I spent the next few days hiding in my room. I wasn't hiding like I was afraid I just didn't feel like going out. It was more depression than fear. Of course I had screwed around with Callie and Clay a little, but I felt I was justified because of the way they cheated behind my back. Maybe I over did it some, but she could have just agreed with the divorce and it would have been over. I hadn't heard any thing from detective Greene since he dropped me off.

Now this is not what was supposed to happen. I was the aggressor. I was stalking and punishing the two people who ruined my life. How the hell did it get twisted around? At this point I just wanted the divorce to be final so I could get the hell out of Dodge.

Finally it was time to get some fresh air and sunshine. Detective Greene was waiting for me in the parking lot went I came out.

"Bruce, great timing. I just stopped over to let you know we got your bomber. A local militant, mercenary want-a-bee who just happened to be paid by a pregnant woman driving a yellow VW."

"Good work. Was her friend with her?"

"No. It seems that they are no longer together. Clay Bixler is back in Pennsylvania with his parents. Appears that he is having trouble finding work in his chosen field at the present time. He mentioned something about career sabotage. He didn't want to talk to us and told me to tell you to go to hell."

"Wow. Hard to believe she is doing this all by herself. She must really be pissed at me now. Her father taught her how to shoot when she was a girl on the farm so I guess that explains the first attempt. How come you haven't picked her up yet?"

"We're working on it. Just relax and let us do our job."

"That's a big comfort. It is me she is after not you."

For some dumb reason we both starting to giggle at that.

I got a nice little booth at Denny's. The over friendly waitress brought a menu and got me a glass of unsweetened tea. After I ordered I took a quick trip to the men's room. I sat back down in my private little seat when my friendly waitress came over with another menu and place setting. I watched as she put them at the seat across from me.

"What is that for?"

"Why, it is for your lady friend. She sat down after you went to the gents. Looks like you guys are having a little addition to the family. I guess she had to go too. I'll be right back to take her order."

Suddenly I was paralyzed with real fear. I sat perfectly still and slowly looked over everything at the table. There it was, staring me right in the face. A slight bit of white powder on the rim of my tea glass. I don't use sweetener. The waitress came back to the table and I told her not to touch anything and quietly get the manager. Detective Greene was on his way to Denny's as soon as he got my call. I explained the situation to the manager and he made sure no one else was seated near my table. It took a while but they really had crime scene personnel that were able to take everything off the tabletop back to the lab.

They picked up Callie a few blocks from the restaurant. It wasn't too hard to find the yellow VW this time.

I stopped at Wendy's and got a frosty. I had lost my appetite.

I don't particularly like police stations but that was the best place for detective Greene to explain what was going on.

"The white powder on the glass and in the tea was ricin. It was not refined but it was still pretty deadly. It appears your wife got a hold of some castor bean seeds and ground them down into a power. Dangerous thing to do but I assume she was desperate."

I couldn't think of anything clever to say so I just sat there with a blank stare on my face. This was all a little hard to take in.

"We found the .17 rifle in the car. She had taped a foot long piece of swim tube on the end of the barrel. Crude, but did a good job at muffling the discharge. Her bomber friend also gave us a positive ID."

"Does that mean it is all over or do I have to stick around for a trial or something?"

"No trial necessary. She confessed to everything and seems to be proud of herself for doing it. She is really pissed at you, man. If you decide to talk to her at all get ready for a real tongue-lashing."

"How is the baby?"

"Alright I guess. She hasn't made any complaints or requested any special treatment because of it. Is it yours?"

"No, but I still would not like to see anything happen to it. I don't want to see her now. How about if I come back tomorrow afternoon?"

"Sounds good to me Bruce. She will still be here, safe and sound."

The final divorce decree was in the mailbox when I got back to the apartment. I was at last a free man, and I was still alive. My rent was paid to the end of the week so there was no big hurry to get out. I was hoping to get a few more local caches under my belt but that was not to be. I decided to go back to Pennsylvania and spend a few days with my parents and then maybe some time in the Caribbean. I always wanted to learn to SCUBA dive, right after my shoulder is fully healed. No hurry.

I was expecting her to come out in an orange jump suit and was a little shocked to see her in broad black and white stripes. Being as pregnant as she was it seemed a little odd. We looked at each other for five or ten seconds.

"Well Bruce, are you going to say anything or are we just going to sit here all day?"

" I don't really know what to say. We are now officially divorced. I left a copy of the paper work with the desk clerk on the way in.'

"Great! Well I guess you are happy now that you screwed everything up. I'm here in jail, pregnant and all alone and you are free as a bird."

"All alone? What happened to Clay?"

"Clay dumped me. He said that the reason he lost his job and was unable to get a new one was because of me. According to Clay if I had just given you the divorce and moved on everything would have been OK."

"Not exactly right. I was going to destroy Clay anyhow the first time. However the only reason I followed you guys to Iowa was because you refused the divorce. If you had signed the damn papers back in Pennsylvania I would have been long gone."

"I didn't want a divorce you idiot. I spent years trying to get the three of us together. I loved both of you and didn't want to have to choose so I was hoping that we could work something out. Clay was OK with it but every time I tried to approach you, you got defensive. The more I tried to arrange things the more jealous and defensive you got."

"Were you sleeping with Clay?"

"Of course I was. I was sleeping with both of you and it was an ideal set up except for one thing, you wouldn't get on board. All you had to do was agree to an arrangement but I couldn't figure out how to do it. We tried that thing at Bens' party to get your attention and it backfired something awful. I wouldn't leave you for Clay and I didn't want to give him up either. You screwed it up by being so damn stubborn. All you had to do was give it a chance."

There was some logic in what she was saying but I couldn't really accept it. She was convinced that she had done nothing wrong. I could have sat there all day and discussed it with her but realized that I would be wasting my time.

"Have you contacted your parents?"

"Yes. They are coming out for the trial, if there is one, and they are staying until the baby is born. It's Clay's of course but I wish it could have been yours. My Mom and Dad are going to keep the baby for me till I get things straightened out."

"Is there anything else that you need or that I can help you with?"

"Well you can stay here a while and finish our conversation. I need you to know how much I love you and what I was doing for us."

"Callie, you tried to kill me, three times. How does that fit in with what you are saying now?"

"I was pissed off, damn it. I was just trying to get your attention so you would come back and make things right."

Well, I was sure now that my loving wife was certifiably nuts. She gave me a weird look as I got up and walked toward the door. I turned and smiled, gave her a small wave and said "Bye".

As I walked out the door I heard her reply. "Bastard".

That was the last time I saw Callie. There was no trial so I didn't have to stick around. Callie had a baby boy and her parents took it home with them. I have no idea how much time she has to serve. Clay ended up in Mexico teaching English as a second language to the next wave of American citizens waiting to come north. I learned to SCUBA dive in the Caymans and decided it was time to start looking for a new wife. I wish I could get some sort of guarantee with the next one.