Here's chapter 4.thanks for being so patient! A new school year started and the 'teacher' side of me had to do all that silly 'school' stuff! I hope you enjoy reading about the intensifying relationship between William and Erin. Enjoy.

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Chapter 4. Hot Showers, Tensions Rise, Inhibitions Fall

William woke the next morning with a knot in his neck. "Damn it." He'd slept deeply; yet, it was not a peaceful sleep. It was like he closed his eyes at one o'clock that morning and instantly woke up to find that it was seven forty three. He tried to stretch out the muscle only to be met with a sharp pain that traveled down his neck and into his shoulder. "Fucking great, absofuckinglutely great."

{Take a shower. It'll help. As a physical therapist, he knew it was his best option, so he made his way to the bathroom with his eyes barely opened. He turned on the shower and waited for it to get hot before he even considered stepping in. All I need now is a cramp. When he was satisfied that it was just the right temperature, William carefully stepped in, making sure to look and see that both his feet, the real one and the odd, arch-shaped three-toed titanium one, were planted carefully on the slip-proof mat.

Ah, showers. If there was any one thing that William refused to give up because of his 'handicap', it was his showers. He didn't care if he had to crawl in on his hands and knees, by God; he was going to take a shower when he wanted one! Every damn morning and again at night if he felt like it!

It wasn't like he was a neat-freak or something. It was simply that showers were something William had loved since he was thirteen, no make that twelve. That's when Samantha Hamm moved down the street from him. Hammy Sammy was 'stacked, packed, and ready to roll' as he and his buddies would say. They called her 'hammy' not because she was fat.but rather because they all wanted to eat her like one would dine on a succulent rack of baby-back ribs.

William remembered what it was like back then and how he would just stand there with his eyes closed and hold himself as he thought about Samantha. Oh and he would never forget the myriad of times he spent thinking of Carrie Miller in the shower. And then the Dotson twins. He often laughed when he wondered how many possible babies he watched go down the drain before he even turned fifteen.

As steam started to rise up from the shower, William remembered how he would spend close to an hour in the shower each morning, except on Sundays. That was just too weird for him. No, he just couldn't walk downstairs and sit at the breakfast table with his mother across from him and try to act like he was being a good, pious Catholic boy. Who knows, maybe his mom was on to him. After all, she never disturbed his showers. Not once. Not even if he had that water running for forty-five minutes.

And dear God, when they sat in mass and Father Timothy or Father Michael would talk about sins of the flesh, William could practically feel his mother's eyes boring into him. Yes, the more he thought about it the more he knew that she had to be on to him.

William let the hot water cascade down over his body as he reminisced some more. He remembered how he would watch the fallout from his sins of carnal desire swirl down the drain when he was done. After which, he would walk away feeling satisfied that he'd gotten away with something that he'd been told over and over again was bad.unless, of course, you were married and did it with the sole intention of creating a life. Extending the family.

Family. Oh, how William cherished his. Especially after his parents were killed. Because aside from a few far off 'relations' and his Aunt Doriah, he really only had Claudia to help him cling to what remained of his parents.

Claudia. He honestly adored her because she always stuck up for him when no one else would. When he was nine, she even threatened to beat up Tucker Winslow for pushing him down one day. And she could throw a mean fastball, too. She was kind, friendly and caring. He looked up to his big sister. He admired her.

But William didn't really see her as a sexual object when he was younger. Especially since he was pretty sure Claudia never saw herself as 'attractive' or 'womanly' or 'desirable'. In fact, she was rather shy and nervous around any man she encountered, save their relatives. Even then, she was reserved. And then, something changed. Something made his 'admiration' for her turn to 'affection' and that 'affection' turned to a dark, secret desire to have her.

A desire that he knew was wrong. A desire that he knew would mortify Claudia almost as much as it frightened him to feel it. For the majority of their lives, whether it was at school or at home, the idea of 'sex' in any shape, form or fashion was viewed as something to stay away from because it could lead to sin and sin led to Hell. And God forbid any incestuous thoughts.they were a one way ticket to sit by Satan himself.

But be that as it may, William couldn't help how he felt. He often thought about exactly 'how' and 'when' everything changed. It all started the summer when he turned fifteen. He was at St. Joseph's and Claudia had been away at Holy Cross all year. Their parents went to see her quite often, but William didn't want to 'waste his weekends'. And then she went with her class to Italy in December for 'Christmas in Vatican City'. At Easter, she went to Guatemala with that same class on a mission. And the one week she was at home, he was with his friend's family in Colorado.skiing. William missed Claudia, his buddy.his protector.his friend, so much and regretted that trip as soon as it was over.

When she came home that June, he was floored at how stunning his almost seventeen year old sister had become over that long year. Oh, she'd always been attractive. His friends all thought she was good looking and wanted to date her. Or more honestly, do her. At first it used to piss him off. But after she came home that summer and his buddies would say 'Jesus Christ, Fitzpatrick, how can you stand it? Your sister is so fucking hot', he didn't really know what to say. He knew he should have felt angry or mad.anything other than aroused.about their comments, but he couldn't.

Yes, that summer there was something altogether different about Claudia. William remembered getting wound up when she'd come down for breakfast in her night shirt and slippers. He smiled to himself at the realization that it was that particular summer when the really intense showers began. The ones where he had to bite down on a washrag to keep from screaming out in ecstasy as he came to the thought of his sister.

And then he would just stand there in the shower and pray that the water would wash away the shame he felt. But it never did, no matter how much he prayed. And going to confession wasn't an option. All the priests knew his voice. He wouldn't be able to look them in the face. No. Going to confession was definitely not an option in William's eyes.

But that was all so long ago. He'd not felt that way in at least nine years.before the accident. He remembered feeling wholly different about Claudia when she tended to him as though he was someone in need. He felt weak and useless. And that 'weakness' left him with a sense of self-loathing and shame more fierce than any of the wild, taboo dreams he'd had about her or the multitude of times he'd jacked off just looking at her picture.

However, once he decided to 'chill' and just 'let life happen' he thought he had moved beyond it all. Beyond the shame about the incestuous feelings he had for Claudia. Beyond the shame of looking or being 'inadequate' in front of her. And beyond the shame of feeling inadequate in his own mind. That is, until that night with Vicki and her damn 'midnight ride'.

But, William thought he had worked through that, too. It was a fluke. It didn't 'mean' anything, William. Let it go. He said that to himself over and over for nearly a week, like some mantra, to try and put it out of his mind.

Then last night happened. And now, as he stood there in that shower, all the confusion that had filled him before was back. What the fuck was that all about Will? You're going off the deep end.HA! That's it. Temporary insanity! Shit, what the hell is wrong with me? He watched the water roll over his skin.

It was so hot. Scaldingly hot. He knew he would probably walk away from the shower with angry red streaks on his flesh. But he didn't care. He just wanted to get the images from last night out of his head. But dear God, try as he might, he couldn't.

William tried to think of nothing but Vicki. He tried to see only her face before him as he closed his eyes. But he couldn't. Because no matter how hard he tried, he could still see Claudia standing in the background. And it felt good knowing she was there. But it also frightened him to have those feelings again. So he tried doubly hard to rid his mind of her image. And then, just when the likeness of Claudia faded, he saw Erin and those beautiful golden eyes of hers.

They were haunting eyes. Sad eyes. Eyes that he could get lost in.

He leaned against the cool tile walls and tried to resist the urge to hold himself as he worked to sort out what had happened in his vivid dream. But he couldn't fight it long. His unchaste desire to find a release through self-gratification overtook the rational part of his psyche. The rising shame-filled tension smoldered within him until it came to a point where he couldn't stop himself.

William kept his eyes closed as he took hold of himself. He could see them, all three of them, standing there before him in his mind's eye. They looked up at him with the lustful eyes of lionesses awaiting the arrival of the lion. Likewise, he wanted them. All of them.

He wanted Vicki because he had already tasted her and knew her to be succulent and filling. He wanted Claudia because he'd lived for so long with the black shame of his forbidden desire and wanted to know if she was worth the guilt he felt. And last, he wanted Erin because she was, without a doubt, the closest mirror of his own tortured soul he'd ever encountered.

He knew how she felt. He knew Erin yearned to be like she was; like she used to be. To dance with not a care in the world, just as he wanted to run with the sun on his face and the wind at his back.

With every sultry, lewd image that darted across his mind, William came closer to the edge that beckoned to him. It screamed, 'Jump Will, jump. Fall into the abyss. Do it.' So, he did. He felt his eyes roll to the back of his head as his cock filled with the creamy ejaculate that so desperately yearned to be freed. He wanted to scream with it. Needed to scream. And he didn't care if the neighbors in the next condo heard him.

As he fell over the edge into a blissful orgasm, William let go of all of his stress and tension allowing his voice to echo the intense feeling that leapt up from deep within him. It felt so go to let it all out, both figuratively and literally. When he finished, it was almost like he could start the day anew. The peace he'd sought in the night, while not exactly the way he'd had hoped it would, finally came to him there in that shower, and damn if he wasn't exhausted.

William rested against the wall and felt the chill of the tiles on his back. The cold porcelain on his flesh and the hot water that beat down on his chest created a feeling of tranquility within him. William let himself relax and as a result, all he wanted to do was go to sleep.

He stepped out of the shower, quickly toweled off and considered getting dressed. Though 'considered' might be too powerful a word. Rather, the thought crossed his mind, is more like it. A quick look at the clock told him it was fine to crawl back under the covers and go to sleep for an hour or two. And that is exactly what he did.

.



.Erin woke to the sound of the lawn mower just outside the living room. She hated waking up. It only reminded her of how useless she was. She just wanted to back to her house, crawl into her bed and sleep.forever. But it would be a long time before she went back to her house.or rather the house James had welcomed her to share with him. The house that had been her home, for that is where her heart truly was, before the accident.

And James, God bless him, made his devotion for Erin readily known when he named her as the beneficiary of his life insurance policy shortly after she accepted his marriage proposal and saw to it that if anything happened to him, the house would be hers. Lord, was his ex-wife mad, too. She even tried to get a judge to make him sell the house and split the proceeds with her. But Judge Morris saw through her money grubbing actions and denied her request.

James told Erin never to worry, that he would always take care of her. God, he was a good man. Erin smiled every time she thought about it and about him. She missed 'their' house so badly. But she knew she'd go back, one day. Of that, Erin was one hundred percent certain. She missed her bed, her TV, her couch, her.everything.

But most of all, she missed James. She missed seeing him lying next to her in the morning when she woke up. And she missed seeing him trying, often in vain, to read a bit of his book at night. Erin had devilish habit for causing James to miss out on reading because of her playful nature.

As she lay there in the living room, feeling how sore her abdominal muscles were from the previous day's leg workout, she thought about how she would often times roll over and wake James with little kisses along his slumbering cock. She loved how the corners of his mouth would draw up into a peaceful grin as she slid her tongue up and down him. She loved feeling him respond to the hot wetness of her mouth.

Many were the mornings that James would find his young bride-to-be nestled snuggly between his legs, partaking of him. And did he ever love it. She was so good with that mouth of hers. It was as though all the grace and fluidity she radiated when she danced made its way to her mouth, affording her the same ease and command of her tongue that she had with her body.

And if there was any one thing Erin loved it was to see, it was how happy James would get when she pleasured him. Erin quickly learned when to ease up or speed up. She loved taking him to the edge and pulling him back.over and over again, until he couldn't stop himself from falling.

Erin loved it when he lost control. She savored not only the essence of his physical offering to her, but also the deep emotional connection that grew stronger each time he spilled into her. And there were those times when James would beg her to stop so that he could slip into her, to connect in the most intimate of ways.

He would pull her up to face him and whisper in her ear, "Please Erin, I need to be in you. Please." His voice melted her heart. She never turned him down. James would gently roll her over and find his way inside her. They moved in tandem, the two of them. Erin would close her eyes and let his love wash over her.

He moved slow and rhythmically. He moved with purpose. He moved with love. And when he came within her, he shared himself in such a way that Erin wished his seed would take root.but it never did. She often chided, 'birth control be damned.' Now there was nothing left of him, save the memory of him.

It tore at her soul when she thought of it because James was the one thing she coveted beyond all things, even her dancing. Because, in actuality, it was only when he'd come into her life that she'd been able to tap into the emotion she needed to really dance. But in the back of her mind, Erin knew that to covet was a sin, a deadly sin. And it filled her with sorrow to think that it was her greedy wantonness which had led to James being ripped away from her and the world.

Erin threw the blanket over her head and tried to blot out the notion of her being the cause for all her heartache. Jesus, Erin, it wasn't your fault. It was Randy's. Randy's. Not your fault. But it was a lie. She knew that she was just as much responsible as Randy was for the accident. She closed her eyes and felt hot tears slipping from her eyes.

She eventually stopped crying and sighed deeply. Erin stared up at the ceiling fan as it went around and around. The sound of the lawnmower droning on in the background slowly lulled her back to sleep. Sleeping was such a wonderful thing. When Erin slept, she would dream. And when she would dream, she could dance. And when she could dance, she felt that James was nearby.

Erin felt someone jostling her shoulder, "Come on girl. Time to get up." Merle Durant and his chipper, 'Isn't it a beautiful day the Lord made' attitude shook his daughter's shoulder again. "Erin, you've got to get up, baby. We'll be late."

Erin shook her head. "Daddy, please, it's only ten o'clock. We don't have to be there until noon. Let me go back to sleep."

"Erin," Merle crossed his arms, "Get up. Now, Erin. I thought we could leave early. Maybe get a late breakfast or early lunch. But I'm not going to put up with this sorry attitude of yours like your Mama does. Get up now, young lady."

"Dad, I'm not fourteen." Erin threw the pillow over her face.

"Then act like it. Here, your mother got these out of the dryer for you. Get dressed." He tossed the clothes on top of the pillow and left the room.

Erin sat up and stared at them. Jesus Christ. I can't believe my mommy is picking out my clothes for me. She pulled her top off and slid her father's University of Michigan sweat shirt over her head. And with a little doing she was able to shimmy into her shorts, by herself. Something she'd mastered nearly two weeks earlier. She stared at the beveled mirror across from her. Where did 'she' go? Where did that girl I used to be, go?}

With that she looked down at her feet and tried to imagine satiny pink pointes back on them. But it was too painful for her to even try and think of it. Fuck! I hate this.}

Merle returned to the room to help his daughter into her wheelchair. "I got it Dad." She jerked away from his helpful arms.

With a long sigh, Merle calmly said, "See, you're getting along much more independently now. You know, I'll bet you'll be up and around in no time Erin."

{Fucking optimist "Yeah, right Dad." Optimism was something that had been in short supply for Erin recently. Although, last night as she lay in bed thinking about how tired she was because she'd done something with her leg, she had felt a tad bit of hope. But 'hope' wasn't good enough.not yet.

As her father drove to the Grayson Center, Erin leaned her head against the tinted window and tried to focus on something.anything other than the fact that she was probably never going to walk. Something pleasant and inviting. Something calm, warm, and welcoming. And then, out of nowhere, the image of William Fitzpatrick popped into her head. What the fuck? Damn, Erin, are you crazy? Goddamn him and the 'Grayson Center.' She looked out over the lake they were crossing and tried to push his image out of her head.

But she couldn't do it. Something about him had touched her. He was kind and gentle, but demanded that she work. And his hands. When they made their way up her thighs and got close to her, she felt a rush of electricity all through out her body.

But the one thing that stuck out the most in her mind was his blue/green eyes. God, those eyes. They reminded her of the inviting waters of the Caribbean. But there was something more. Erin could feel her face grow flush from thinking about him and it frightened her. Stop it, Erin. However, for the next ten minutes all Erin could think of was William, his voice, his hands, and his eyes.

.



.Vicki stepped out of Trey Martin's office, adjusted her collar and glanced down at her engagement ring. Victoria, what are you doing? You're being crazy. She looked at the clock on the wall and shook her head. Damn it! I'm going to be late. As she passed by one of the windows she took a quick look at her reflection. Everything in place. She walked into the PT lobby nearly ten minutes after her appointment with Erin Durant was supposed to have started. Maybe she's late.}

But Erin was sitting there flipping absentmindedly at a magazine. Shit! Vicki put on her 'glad to meet you face' "Hello, you must be Erin Durant." She extended her hand toward Erin and spoke quickly, "My name is Vicki Bardole. I'm going to be your PT for that arm of yours." She watched as Erin rolled her eyes.

Vicki tried to ignore Erin's barefaced rudeness. Great, she's going to be a bitch, I just know it. She smiled once more and bent down a bit, leaning toward Erin, "You know Erin; I think you met my fiancée, William yesterday, right?" She stared at Erin with her eyes opened wide and a syrupy smile on her face.

Erin sighed, or rather, huffed. That's right he said his fiancée was going to work with me, too. Fucking wonderful. "Oh, yes, that's right. Could you stop hovering? And you know, I'm not five years old, you don't need to be so cheery."

Merle shot his daughter a disappointed look and then smiled at Vicki, "I'm sorry, Erin seems to have forgotten how to be pleasant these past few months." Merle took hold of Vicki's hand and smiled, "I'm Merle Durant, Erin's dad. Nice to meet you, Vicki."

Vicki smiled warmly at the older gentleman and then looked down at Erin. In turn, Erin looked at her watch and dryly asked, "Running late, Vicki?"

Vicki looked at Merle once more and then back down at Erin, "Oh, I just.I was.um.I was just finishing up with a patient. She smiled broadly, too broadly for Erin's liking. "Well, let's go on back to the workout room and get started. See you in an hour and a half, Mr. Durant." She pushed Erin's wheelchair through the heavy double doors.

Erin had to endure the same type of 'touch' test William had given her, only this one was focused on her arm. When she finished taking some notes, Vicki sat down at a table in front of Erin, "We're going to need to get that arm stronger so when we get you up on the bars to walk, you'll have enough muscle to help hold you up." She handed Erin a small pink 'dumbbell' weight. "Let's work on those biceps and triceps."

Erin stared at Vicki, utterly pissed at the 'you're a weakling' tone she was using. She'd never been a weakling.ever. And she'd be damned if some bubble-headed bleached-blonde physical therapist was going to talk to her like that. "Look.Vicki," she said dryly, "You know 'we're' not the one who is paralyzed, 'I' am. And 'I' already told you, I'm not five years old; so, stop fucking treating me like I am, okay?"

Erin grabbed the weight, which she figured must have come from the same factory that made Barbie dolls, and lifted it up and down. This is so fucking stupid. Christ, just leave me alone. "Besides, Vicki," Erin said with an utterly callus tone, "I don't think I'll be walking any time soon. So needing to 'bulk up' my arms for something that might not happen for." she thought about how long she might be trapped in that chair, "for.Good God, is this really necessary?"

Vicki sighed. Shit, maybe I could ask Trey to switch me. No, wait. I'm not going to let some sour ass bitch get the better of me. "Erin, you know, with that kind of attitude you're only going to make it more difficult on yourself." Vicki smirked, and then added, "You know, here at the Grayson Center we hope you'll heal not only your body but also your mind and soul."

{Is she fucking serious? "Right, yeah, sure." Erin rolled her eyes, "Why don't 'we' just stick to 'my' arm, alright?" She said sarcastically and continued to lift the little pink 'Barbie' weight with a smile that tried to say 'this is so stupid', even though her arm was really hurting. It'd been a long time since Erin had 'worked' her arms. Every now and again she'd stare at the clock, praying for the minute hand to go faster.

About forty minutes into their session, Vicki's cell phone went off. She looked at the name on the display and she politely turned herself away from Erin. "Hey, baby. Where are you? .Bed? . Jesus, William, it's almost one o'clock. Your shift starts in an hour. You've gotta take a shower and everything."

Erin rolled her eyes as Vicki talked. For some very odd reason Erin suddenly felt either very pissed with or very jealous of Vicki Bardole. She told herself it was because of Vicki's stupid pink weights and even more inane 'recovery is physical AND mental' crap. But she knew she was lying.

What was it that had made her feel so uptight? Erin didn't want to admit it, but knowing that Vicki was talking to William with her 'lovey dovey' voice is really what put her on edge. It made her want to throw up. Christ, Durant, people probably felt that way about you and James. Don't be a fucking idiot. You don't even know the guy.}

Vicki giggled, glanced quickly at Erin then tried to lower her voice to where she thought Erin couldn't hear., "I mean it! . Oh, of course I'm sorry about last night. I was just.so tired. Me? Oh, I'm here with that new patient, Erin." She shot Erin a broad grin filled with what Erin knew to be love soaked joy, "William? Hey, baby, are you there?" Erin watched as Vicki stared into some unseen vast nothingness for a second, "William?" She closed the thin cell phone, "Hmm, must have been disconnected."

She turned back to Erin. "Now, where were we?"

Erin rolled her eyes and honestly tried to keep her mouth shut but an overwhelming urge to hurt Vicki's feelings overtook her. Why? She wasn't sure. Maybe it was because she hated the fact that Vicki was so fucking perky and had everything. Maybe it was because she looked at Vicki and realized she would never have the happiness she'd once had. Either way, she wanted to make someone feel as horrible as she was feeling. "You know, you ought to keep your personal calls personal. I don't really care to hear about what you did or didn't do last night."

Vick just stared at Erin, somewhat flabbergasted. "I.sorry.I didn't mean.I mean, I usually don't take calls but it was my fiancée"

"Yes, I gathered that much. Unless you're sleeping with more than one man." Erin grinned when she saw a look of shock cross her therapist's face. Vicki didn't say a word she just stared at Erin. Change the subject, Erin. "Christ, why in the hell do I have to have two therapists anyway?"

Vicki's quietly responded as she wrote down a few things on Erin's chart. "Well, arms are my specialty. William has a thing for legs, you know." She laughed, thinking that Erin knew that William was an amputee. But when she got no reaction from her little quip she added, "William deals mainly with legs. Who knows, maybe one day we'll open our own rehab center. I've got arms, he's got legs!"

Erin tried to smile but couldn't seem to get her facial muscles to work like she knew they should. "Well, isn't that special." Great, just great.he's going to marry fucking Barbie with her fucking pink weights. Christ, he's probably just as fucking 'happy' as this dip-shit is. "Are we done yet?"

"No, we just have." Vicki started but was stopped when Erin dropped the weight on the table.

"That wasn't really a question.Vicki. I'm done. You took ten minutes of my time.now, I'm going to leave early. Just showing you the same courtesy you showed me." Erin turned her wheelchair and rolled it to the 'door open' plate on the wall. "I'm leaving now."

Vicki couldn't believe it. God Almighty, she's a bitch. Erin hardly waited for the doors to open before she wheeled herself out of the room. Vicki didn't really know what to do. She looked down at the chart and then shook her head. "Bye. See you on Wednesday."

"Right.yeah." Erin disappeared through the opening.

.



.William sat straight up when Vicki mentioned Erin's name and dropped the phone into the blankets. That's right, we're tag teaming again. The woman with the angelic face, silky smooth skin and amazing golden eyes was sitting right beside his fiancée. He felt his heart race. This is stupid. For Christ's sake Fitzpatrick, get a hold of yourself. HAHAHA.get a hold of myself, that's the problem. Fuck it, that girl is so damn good looking. He searched through the thick blankets trying to retrieve the phone only to find that Vicki had hung up before he was able to get to it. William shook his head, "Stop it, William.just stop it." The sound of his voice startled him.

William took a fast, cool shower that hovered amazingly close to a cold shower. Last thing I need now is to get worked up again. He dressed quickly and set out towards the Grayson Center. He stared out at the city as he drove and watched it rise in the horizon like some huge behemoth from the depths of the deepest darkest ocean. A quick look up at the early afternoon sky told him a storm was brewing. He looked up into the darkening sky and suddenly felt very small and.insignificant.

It wasn't like William to be melancholy especially in matters of love or lust or whatever it was that he was trying to sort out in his mind. Must be the weather At a stop light, he looked and noticed the blue marathon course line painted on the road. Just a few weeks. I can't wait.}

As he pulled his Jeep into the parking lot he chanced to see Erin Durant coming out the front doors with a man pushing her chair. Gotta be her Dad. Gotta be. He sat there in his space watching them, intrigued. He stared at them as the pair came to a sleek, silver Mercedes and he watched as Erin's father gently lifted his daughter and placed her inside the car. William was awed at the sight of Erin's devoted father handling his daughter as though she were some piece of fine porcelain.

But Erin was the one he really wanted to see. He held his breath as he watched her father fold the chair and put it in the trunk. William stared, waiting, hoping to see her face just once before they drove off. Goddamn, fucking turn around so I can see you.}

And, as though she heard his silent plea, Erin turned and stared out the window. William lost his her and tell her not to worry. Christ, that's it, Fitzy, you feel sorry for her. That's all. Thank breath at the sight of her. Goddamn, if she's not an angel, I don't know who is. But then it struck him how very sad she looked. Alone. Once again, he had had an intense urge to hug God.}

William felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of him when he came to what he felt to be a plausible reason for his feelings and he smiled thinking that now he wouldn't have to deal with the issue anymore. If he could just tell himself over and over that he was only interested in Erin Durant because he felt sorry for her, maybe deep inside his heart, he'd really believe it.

She was sad. He knew she was sad. She was lonely. He knew she was lonely. She felt defeated. And he knew how it felt to 'feel' defeated. He stared up into the dark, angry looking sky and silently prayed, "Please, she's gotta walk again. Please."

He stepped out of the car and stared down at the unseen 'leg' that lay underneath his slacks. Thoughts of his own long personal battle with the specter of doubt filled his mind as he made his way to the front door of the ornate entrance to the Grayson Center. William pondered those negative thoughts for a minute, maybe two before the last remnant of the sun slipped behind the clouds and the sky opened up just as he was making his way inside. "Jesus H. Christ!"

William wiped the water from his arms. Vicki came up behind him and said, "Good grief, you're soaked."

"No shit, Dick Tracy.tell me something I don't know." William had meant for his words to sound funny, but he knew they sounded harsh from the look on Vicki's face. "Sorry, honey."

Vicki kissed him and said, "It's okay. Let's get you a shirt. There are some in the closet."

They walked into the storage closet and hunted for a dry t-shirt. "Got one." Vicki yelled. "Come here, baby."

William grinned, "Baby? So I'm Baby now?" He leaned and kissed Vicki softly on the lips, "And tell me, Vicki, are you going to be my mommy?"

"Damn William." Vicki looked up at him, stunned. "Can't you just turn it off?"

"No." William took Vicki's arm and pulled her close to him. "I can't. Damn it, Vicki. Do you know how badly I want you?"

Vicki could feel the hot bulge in his pants as he spoke to her. "God, William. You're crazy." She gently pushed him away. "This isn't really the right place. I mean, damn, we're in the storage closet. Anyone could walk in."

"Who?" William knew that no one ever went in that closet. Hell, this was only the third time he'd been in there and he'd worked at the center for almost two years. "Come on, Vicki. You said you were sorry about last night. So, why don't you show me how sorry you." He pulled her close to him and slipped his tongue between her lips. She seemed to quiver under his touch, but not the 'oh, yes, let's fuck right here, right now kind of quiver.' It was a 'please, let's not do this' type of reaction. He let her go, "What is wrong with you?"

She could hear confusion in William's voice. Vicki looked around and shook her head, "Nothing's wrong with me. Nothing really, William. I'm just.well, I guess I'm in a bad mood that's all." Bad mood? Shit, Victoria, you seriously fucked up. God, what am I going to do? She looked up into his beautiful eyes and felt a lump in her throat, "I mean, that last case, she was a doozy. I've never seen anyone so pessimistic. It was like pulling teeth just to get her to learn the exercises."

{Last case? She's talking about Erin. Just don't ask about her. That's all William.just don't ask. "What're you talking about or rather, who? Do you mean Erin Durant?" Some fucking good will power, Will!}

"Yeah, she's the one. Forgot her last name. Jesus, baby, she's got it in her head that she'll never walk. It felt like she was really saying, 'why live'. I hate cases like that."

He nodded his head in agreement, even though he'd not really heard what she said. All William could do was think about the sad, alone look on Erin's face as she left the parking lot just ten minutes earlier. And Vicki's words simply helped to reiterate the intense desire to hug Erin even more. But he knew that he wouldn't want to stop at hugging her. Erin Durant needed someone to love her.

William felt a strange pang, an almost stabbing sensation deep in his chest. The thought of 'loving' Erin drove him crazy. And having Vicki there, so close to him and needing to feel the touch of a woman was suddenly overwhelming. "Come here." He grabbed Vicki and pulled her so closely against him, there was no way she could mistake what he wanted from her.

Vicki inhaled sharply as she felt William's hand grasp her arm. "William, wait, stop." But he wasn't listening to her. She felt William's hands tug at the clasp of her shorts. Before she had a chance to argue with him, he'd unfastened her pants and they fell to the floor, revealing her small pink thong.

He spun Vicki around so that her back rested against his rain soaked shirt and slipped his hands between her legs. William wanted her, but he knew she wasn't ready. However, he knew how to remedy that and quite quickly, too. He slid his fingers between the soft folds of skin that sheltered the spot he claimed as his and gently started to move them back and forth against her, feeling her grow hotter, wetter, and more in need with each stroke.

In about a minute, William could feel Vicki relaxing beneath his touch. Whatever it was, whatever it really was that had Vicki so uptight, seemed to melt beneath his fingers. Vicki fell into his chest and let him explore her further. It was something he knew she loved; something that put him in total control of her. And that was what he loved.

William slipped two fingers in and out of her and stroked her engorged clitoris with his thumb in a teasing manner. Pleasing her, then retreating, pleasing her and then pulling away. Vicki's hips started to instinctively rock against him and by default allowed the gentle dip of her ass to ride up and down on William's cock. He grew so hard it was painful for him inside his slacks. He whispered in her ear as he stroked her more intently, "Do you want more, Vicki?"

She spoke not a word, but rather let out a soft, breathy moan. Vicki brought her arm up and wrapped it around William's neck then arched her back against him. She rested her head against his chest and let him have his way with her. It felt so good she wanted to cry, but she knew she had to be quiet. And William knew exactly how to touch her. Exactly how to make her want him even more. Exactly how to make her want to scream.

William took his free hand, slipped it up her shirt and slid it across her breast. A surge of pure lust traveled through him as he felt her nipples harden through the layer of lacy material she wore. She was ready and he couldn't deny how hungry he was and how badly he needed her.or was it simply the feeling of being in a woman? Stop thinking, William. Stop.}

It's strange the thoughts that flood the mind when one is on the brink of doing of something so intense as coming together in a union as sacred as they were about to partake in. Like the flood gates of the consciousness open and for a very brief second, there is a clarity unlike any other known to man. And then just as quickly as the gates open, they slam shut leaving us swimming in a lake of pure emotion and need.

William double checked that the door was closed, it wouldn't be wise to get caught. Always thinking, William. Why in God's name are you always thinking? After all, would he really have stopped if the door weren't completely closed? No. Vicki was there, ready, wanting and his for the taking.

He turned her and looked at the picture-perfect face before him. He felt her grab his belt and expertly loosen it. And when her fingers wrapped around him, William almost fell over. Her hands were cool and he was so hot. William wasn't even sure if it was he who slid Vicki's thong down or if she'd done it.

The next thing he knew, he was inside her, feeling her warmth all around him. William was very aware of her right leg as it rode up his left leg to settle on his thigh allowing her hips to move more freely with his. It was wonderful. But when William looked down at her face, expecting to see the lust that had overtaken him reflected in her eyes, he was a bit shocked that her eyes were closed.

But it was not simply because they were closed. People close their eyes all the time when they are engaged in something so passionate, but it was the intense, serious look that she wore. For an instant he felt like she was willing herself to enjoy what they were doing. Jesus, William, you're seeing pink elephants where there are none.}

He stared down at Vicki as he pounded into her wondering what could be troubling her. But as her movements became more fervent, the seriousness that had laid itself upon her face disappeared. She had come to the point where all thought, rational and irrational, are purged from the mind and are replaced by a hunger that can only be satisfied through the joy of an orgasm. Yes, Vicki was just as hungry as William and he was more than willing to ease the hunger that consumed the both of them. See, fucking chill, Will. Chill.}

He slid his hands down her back, took hold of her hips and lifted her leg just a tad more, steadying her. William held her that way and thrust himself into her with great vigor. He was the jack-hammer and she was the sidewalk. He felt her starting to clench around him and looked to see her biting her lip to stay quiet.

William kissed her with such force he could practically feel her moans traveling down his throat. She tasted good. Like cinnamon.

Vicki couldn't hold on a second longer and when she let go she felt the rush of adrenaline that always accompanied her orgasms. Her heart raced and her breathing became more frantic.

William felt the same thing. The rush, the surge, the much sought after wave of bliss finally washed over him, too. He rode it all the way to the shore and when he set foot back on the beach of reality, he shivered. Partially from the satisfying tingle that always followed a good orgasm and partially from the blast of cold air that came pouring out of the vent directly above them.

Vicki rested her head on his still damp shirt and slowly felt her breathing return to normal. She listened to William's heart beating. It raced and he was breathing like he would after a good run. She loved him and he had no idea just how torn she was feeling him hold her in blissful ignorance all the while knowing full-well what she had done. Shit, Victoria. Shit. You fucked up. Christ, what have you done?}

She started to cry and William lifted her chin, "What's wrong, Baby?"

Vicki shook her head, if she told him what she'd done, it would be over. She knew it. It would kill him. There was no way to tell him that she and Trey had slept together not once.not even twice, but multiple times during their week long training trip. Why did she do it?

It left her feeling somewhat hollow and filled with regret. How could she? Why did she? The first time, she chalked it up to getting plastered at the 'meet-n-greet' reception. Trey was there, he wanted her and she wanted sex. Not love, just sex. But being drunk wasn't an excuse she could use the second time. No.

When Vicki closed her eyes, she saw it happening again and again and wished she'd stopped him.only it was too late. She could see him walking with her to her suite and she invited him in. She did it. He didn't force her. It wasn't his idea. Trey was ready to walk away. But she held onto his arm and kissed him with the same passion she reserved for William. That was the second time. Then things just roller coastered out of control.

Vicki didn't love Trey, no, far from it. But he did something for her. She thought he completed a part of her she was afraid she was missing out on. It tore her up to think of what would happen if William found out. She knew she would have to tell him.one day, maybe.but not today. "Nothing. I just missed you, William. That's all. I missed you."

William kissed Vicki on the forehead and wiped an errant hair from her brow. "I missed you, too, Vicki." William pulled out of her and slyly looked around, "Miss Bardole, you've really got to keep your hands to yourself. Honestly.what would people think if they knew what you were doing to me here in this closet?" He grinned and held Vicki close to him.

Leave it to William to take their tender moment and make it a funny moment. Vicki sighed, "What 'I' was doing to you? Oh, that's a good one, babe." Vicki slipped back into her clothes and tugged at her shirt, trying to 'hide' what they'd done.

William, on the other hand, simply peeled off his wet shirt and put on a dry Grayson Center 'Walk-a thon' T-shirt. He felt very good. Very good, indeed. William stuck his head out of the closet and looked for 'wandering eyes'. "All clear." When he and Vicki stepped out of the closet they looked at one another as though they'd just completed some covert assignment and were satisfied with the results.

As they turned and headed down the hallway, Trey Martin happened to step out of his office. He smiled the happy couple, "Hello William. Vicki." Trey continued down the hall and turned, "Oh, Vicki, if you don't mind.could you come by my office in about an hour? I'd like to talk to you about some equipment I'm thinking of ordering and need your input."

Vicki froze for a second and looked up at William with an 'honestly, that man is going to drive me insane' look. "Yes, Trey. Sure.one hour.alright." Damn, Vicki, you've gotta put an end to this.}

William wasn't sure but he thought that her voice sounded strained. Jesus, if I had just spent a week with an uptight asshole like Trey Martin, I'd probably be a bit frazzled myself. He rolled his eyes as he and Vicki made their way to the PT waiting room.

{He doesn't have a clue. Thank God. Vicki happened to glance up as they walked into the large room and looked at the abstract painting of an angel hovering over a PT specialist working with a patient. She always liked that painting. Vicki wasn't exactly a 'religious' girl by any stretch of the imagination, but that picture always calmed her. However, today when she looked at it, it seemed like the angelic figure was looking straight through her.

William grinned as he walked. That's what I needed. All I needed. He grabbed the charts for the late afternoon session. Put her out of your mind. Vicki's back. At least William felt like things in his life were getting back to normal. In a few weeks, they'd be getting married, he'd be running in the marathon. Everything was back on track.

.



.Erin was shocked at how badly her arm hurt the next morning. Fucking Barbie weights. She strained to pull her sweatshirt over her head. "Damn it." It took a little 'mind over matter' to force herself to push through the sore muscles, but she did it. At least it's something.}

What was that? A tiny bit of optimism? No.it couldn't be. Not from Erin. She 'pooh-poohed' the mere thought of feeling 'good', deciding, rather, to just be her typical pissed off self. Something she'd become very good at over the past few months. Just get today over with.}

And try as she might, Erin's mother couldn't coax so much as a tiny grin from her daughter as they made their way to the Grayson Center. Needless to say, when Chaselyn slammed on the brakes she wasn't sure who was more shocked.Erin or herself. "ENOUGH!" Her voice resounded loudly.

Erin jumped at her mother's tone. The last time she heard it was when she was eleven or was it twelve.that time when she and Karen had decided to paint their bedroom walls with flowers made from nail polish. "Damn, Mama, what's with you?"

"You! I am so fucking tired of your attitude." Chaselyn Durant barely ever cursed. And to her, saying 'fuck' in any shape, form, or fashion was never done. But she'd had all she could take of Erin. Didn't Erin realize how hurt she was, too? Her baby girl was struggling and there was nothing she could do except drive her to therapy everyday.

Erin didn't say a word. Instead she stared down at her fingers praying for her mother to hurry up and pull into the parking lot. The next fifteen minutes were silent.unsettlingly silent. Erin saw the large marble entrance to the center. Thank God.}

Chaselyn stepped out of the car and left the keys in the ignition. She lifted the wheelchair from the holder on the back of her car and helped Erin in. "There you go. I'll be back in an hour and a half."

"What?" Erin stared at her mother as she climbed back into the car. "You're leaving?"

"Yes, Erin, you're a big girl. Act like it." Chaselyn slammed her door and took off, leaving Erin alone in her wheelchair in the middle of the parking lot. "What the hell?" She looked around. No one was there to help her. Damn it! She rolled across the lot and then pushed herself up the inclined walkway. Jesus, fucking easy access ramp, my ass. She could hear her mother's voice in the back of her mind, 'see, not so easy to do it without a little help, is it?'

By the time she made it to the large glass doors and felt the blast of cool air when they slid open, Erin was ready to call it a day. I'll be goddamned if I'm going to do any more today. And when William practically ran into her as he was rounding the corner, Erin sighed deeply. Great. I look like crap and here's Mr. OOOH, Let's Go Workout! She looked around. Christ, I fucking hope little Miss Perky-Ass isn't here, too.}

William felt an odd warm feeling wash over him when he saw Erin stopped there in the main lobby. A feeling typically reserved for Vicki. "Hello Erin. Here alone today?" His voice was strangely calm.

"Christ." Erin wasn't at all shocked at how she sounded. Cold, like usual. Would she ever stop feeling so empty? Would she ever be happy just to 'be'? She looked over both her shoulders and sarcastically replied, "What? Can't you see my posse? Of course, I'm alone. I'm not totally useless." Erin looked up into William's eyes and suddenly wished her mother was with her.

William could hear the sadness behind her angry tone and smiled inwardly. He started to take hold of the hand-grips and backed away when Erin snapped at him, "I can fucking do it. I made it in here didn't I?"

Once they were in the PT workout room, William opened up her chart. "How're the legs today? Sore?"

Erin rolled her eyes, "No." Liar.

William shook his head, "You don't have to act like I'm the enemy, Erin. I'm here to help you." He had no idea how badly Erin wanted to get up and run away. The thought of being forever like she was at that exact moment terrified her. It was a feeling she just couldn't shake. William sighed, "Fine. Whatever, Erin. Let's get to work."

Work.that was an understatement. For the half hour, Erin forced herself to lift her right leg and then her left. Her right.then her left. Over and over. After about thirty minutes, she was sweating like she used to sweat after a full-out dance session.

"Good job, Erin." William handed her a bottle of water. "Now, let's see what you're really made of." He handed her a towel, "Dry your hands. I'm going to stand you up."

Erin's jaw dropped, "You're not fucking serious are you? I barely lifted the ankle weights, there's no way in Hell I can stand up."

William stood in front of her and held out his hands, "Come on, Erin. I'm not asking you to walk a mile.just stand.that's all. Have a little faith in yourself." He saw the look of disbelief on her face, "Fine, have some faith in me. I've got enough for the both of us."

She glanced at the little crucifix William wore around his neck. What is it with the fucking 'have faith' shit? Erin was fuming and she wasn't about to budge. "I'm going to fall."

"Fall on me."

{He cannot fucking be serious. Erin narrowed her eyes and took his hands.

"See, your hands didn't turn to dust or anything." William slowly and carefully lifted Erin. "That's it. Come on."

"I'm not a dog."

William stared at her, "Well, stop acting so bitchy."

"Fuck you." Erin used every bit of her will power to steady herself.

Finally, William knew how to get to her. Piss her off and she'll do whatever I say, just to prove to me that she can do it. He grinned. Erin's anger helped her to stand up and she gripped his hands so tightly her fingers were turning white. "Easy there, Erin. That hurts." William tried to wiggle his fingers.

"Good."

{Jesus, you are something else. And she was. As she stood there before him, regardless of how steady she was, William was taken aback at how tall Erin was. She had a good three to four inches on Vicki. He looked straight into her golden eyes and could practically see her frustration in them. And then, there was that smell of baby powder and roses.

Erin looked into his eyes, felt his strong hands holding her steady and realized that she wasn't really scared. He was about the same height as James. Maybe an inch shorter, maybe. His lips were so soft. She wondered how it would feel to touch them. And she could smell his cologne. It was a strong scent, but not over powering.

William took one small step backwards. "Move when you're ready."

Erin stared at him. "I can't."

"Yes you can. One step. Just try." William shuffled back a bit more.

"No. I'll fall."

"Yes, you probably will." She stood there like a rock, utterly terrified. "But you'll get back up." He stepped back a little farther. "Come on, Erin.one step."

Erin felt her balance shift and she fell forward into his waiting arms. As she did so, she let out a small yelp. "See! See! I told you I'd fall."

"You stumbled. Try again." Even though she was leaning against his chest, William tried to keep calm. Especially when he saw that she wasn't about to budge. In an attempt to shame her into trying again, he pulled out the 'I'm going to fucking embarrass you card'. "Erin, see that little boy?" He pointed to a kid in a whirlpool. "He's watching you. You gonna give up?"

"Fuck you."

"Maybe later." He couldn't believe he said it. Shit, Fitzpatrick are you crazy?}

Erin shook her head. What did he just say? "Funny." But something about hearing him say, 'maybe later' got to her. Erin tried again. And fell, again. This time outright.on her back. She heard the little boy laugh at her. Fucking little shit.}

William leaned forward and held out his hand. Erin saw his crucifix again and wanted to rip it off and ram it down that kid's throat. She refused to let some little boy laugh at her. So she took William's hands and felt him pull her back up.

She tried again.and fell, again. This happened once, twice, three times. And every time, she'd reach up, take William's hand but not before seeing his necklace dangling down over her. By the fourth time she finally had had enough. William smiled, "Take my hand, Erin. Try again." God, how she hated him. It was obvious to her that it was hopeless. Why couldn't he see it? Why wouldn't he leave her alone? She'd never dance again so why should she care if she could walk?

"NO! I will not! I'm tired and sore. Now help me up." Erin covered her face with her hands. She wanted to cry. "This isn't so fucking easy you know. You can walk.I can't. Leave me alone. You don't understand." That was it. She couldn't contain the tears any longer and she started to cry. To sob, was a more just word for it, actually. "You don't get it."

William's heart sank a little when he saw how upset she'd gotten. Too far, Fitzy.too far. He sighed and shook his head. "Erin. I get it. Trust me." He lifted his right pant leg and revealed his prosthetic leg. "Trust me, I get it more that you can even imagine."

Erin was stunned. No way. No. Stupefied was more like it. But she wasn't about to let him know that. She sniffled and wiped her eyes, "Am I supposed to be shocked and amazed? Huh? Do you want me to go, 'Oooh, if William can do it, so can I'?"

William didn't say a word. Seeing her get upset was not what he wanted. He only wanted her to know that he really did understand. He knew she was baiting him, trying to get him pissed at her. The way he saw it was that he believed Erin figured her callus remark would make him so mad that he'd throw his hands up in frustration and leave her alone. Instead, he simply let her lay there on the ground as he went and got her wheelchair.

"Stick and stones, Erin.sticks and stones." He extended his hand once more to her and waited patiently for her to take it. When she finally accepted his helping hand, he picked her up and considered putting her in her chair; but feeling her rest against his chest just felt so nice. William forwent her wheelchair and carried her to one of the tables. "You know, Erin, we've still got about twenty minutes left. What's say we work out those muscles?"

As he sat her down on the table she sighed and sniffled once more, "Are you serious? I just worked them out."

"Not 'workout' Erin.work them out. Massage them."

Erin felt stupid, "Oh." Who could really blame her? She was exhausted, truly exhausted. All she wanted to do was sleep, and not because she was mad at anyone or scared of anything. She was just so tired.

She laid back and considered the past hour of her life. First she'd been abandoned in the parking lot by her mother.the woman who was supposed to be there for her whenever she needed her. Then she'd been subjugated to an intense therapy session. To make matters worse, a little boy laughed at her. Oh, and there was the crying. She hated to cry. It was a sign of weakness in her eyes. She could hear her dance teacher screaming at her in her from the back mind. 'Dancers don't cry, Erin. Dancer's let it out on stage.'

But worst of all the feelings she'd experienced had to be loathing William for making her cry and then loathing him more for making her feel about as tall as a worm. Erin closed her eyes and tried to find a sense of calm to help her.

William, on the other hand, stared at the beautiful young woman who lay there on the table before him and felt anything but a desire to 'calm' himself. Her skin was so pale and her hair was so shiny, he wanted to touch it to see if it was hair or spun silk. He gently placed his hot hands on her cool thigh and felt Erin jump a little.

Erin immediately focused her attention on his hands. By comparison, his hands were bigger than James's hands. And when he started to gently knead her tired legs she let herself fall into the calm that she'd been desperately trying to find. He slid his hands down her thigh to her knee and massaged her calf muscle. The look on her face let him know that she most definitely could feel his touch.

William continued to massage her right leg and then moved to her left. His heart started to race. He felt hot, like the air conditioner needed to be lowered. "Can you feel that, Erin?"

She nodded slowly.

"Good." He worked his way up her leg, past her knee and to her left thigh. Without realizing it, William's tender massaging motion had slowed down such that he was more or less caressing her skin as opposed to 'working' the muscle. The expression on her face looked so pleasant. He was swept away in the softness that come across her.

The more he stared at her, the more of her he wanted to touch. He slid his hand up a bit higher on her thigh and wanted to touch more of her. If William had let go of his worries about 'pushing the envelope' with Erin he would have simply slid his hand up her shirt, across her belly and up to her breasts.

But he couldn't do that. No. Instead he slid his hand up her thigh even further. Testing to see how far he could go. He saw Erin's face grow flush as he neared the inside of her inner thigh. And then she opened her eyes, those gorgeous golden eyes. He heard someone gasp and was shocked when he realized it was he who'd made the noise. He quickly pulled his hand away.

Erin sat up on her elbows and whispered, "You don't have to stop." The farther up her thigh he went, the hotter Erin became. One thing was for sure, everything from her mid-thigh up was working and very sensitive. It had been a long time since she'd felt a man's hands on her, and even if it was just her legs, it was quite nice.

William stared at her and was stunned when he realized what she had just said. He wanted to make sure he wasn't hearing what he wanted to hear which was basically, 'It's okay William touch me' as opposed to, 'It's a nice massage, keep up the good work.' He carefully eased his hand up farther on her thigh, just touching the edge of her shorts. Goddamn, William, you can't do this. Without thinking another moment, William slid his hand up her loose fitting shorts and gently massaged the area closest to the center of her being. "Erin, I shouldn't be doing this."

Erin's throat was dry but she was able to quietly say, "It's alright. Really."

That was all William needed to hear. He slid his fingers beneath her little bikini panties. Lacy, oh my God. And then felt what he knew must have been a very neatly groomed tuft of hair. Can't walk but keeps herself in check. My God. He stared into her eyes and could feel the lusty fire they radiated as he slowly, tenderly slipped his fingers into the hot wetness of her. His knees, the real one and the artificial one, felt as though they would give way. This is crazy.}

Erin's heart started to race even faster when she felt his fingers sneak their way up under her panties. Erin, you can't do this. Remember, he's the asshole. He'd not James. But when she felt his fingers graze her engorged clitoris, she didn't really mind that he wasn't James. It just felt so good to.feel. She gazed into William's eyes and tried to catch her breath.

William felt himself growing hard as he touched her, especially when he watched her lie back and close her eyes. Damn He could hear that little voice in the back of his head calling out to him to STOP! But reckless desire chided him and screamed for him to 'Do it. Make her climax right here. You know you want to.'

The expression on Erin's face was priceless. Her lips had parted ever so slightly and he could feel every breath she took for they came in tandem to his relentless toying of her. She wanted to yell out and tell him how good it felt, but she wasn't stupid. This was wrong. He'd get fired if anyone saw what he was doing. And then there was his fiancée. What would happen if she found out? As his actions grew more intense Erin thought she was going to lose it. She bit down on her lower lip so hard, she was sure she was going to draw blood.

William knew she was close. He'd seen that lost in bliss look before on the faces of several women and he wanted her come under his touch. But was it because he was ridiculously attracted to her or was it because he wanted her to remember what it meant to be a woman? Either way, the softness of her features drove him insane.

As he brought her closer and closer, he looked down on her face and watched nearly six months of pain and sadness slowly melt away. Melt away because of him. That knowledge made him want to rip off her clothes and fuck her like there was no tomorrow. But no. This was for Erin. He would deal with himself later.when Vicki came home. He could do it. Yes.

In her heightened sense of awareness, Erin suddenly worried if this was all some elaborate trick William had dreamed up to 'help her recover.' But no, the look in his eyes told her that he wanted much more than just to touch her, to dip his fingers into her, to make her come to his actions. Stop thinking. Stop. God, God, yes. That is so good.}

William could feel her muscles start to twitch and contract around his fingers and watched as Erin desperately tried to keep from screaming out as she worked to keep her hips from moving frantically. He knew it would be any second now. William slipped another finger inside her and leaned forward, "It's okay Erin. You need to let yourself enjoy it."

"God, yes." Erin was able to say.and that was about it. She inhaled sharply and felt herself falling into bliss. "Yes, yes, yes."

{Look at her. God, she's amazing. William wanted to shout out to the five other people in the huge room, 'Go away. I want to fuck her.' But he remained focused on pleasuring her.

Finally, after what seemed to be the longest, most intense ten minutes of her life, Erin relaxed enough to let herself go. She didn't care who saw them or heard them or anything. It felt entirely too good. But she kept herself under as much control as she could muster. She had to do something to keep herself from crying out. So, she reached out and grabbed William's free arm and squeezed it so hard she knew he was going to have a bruise. But she didn't care. "God, yes. Oh, yes."

When William felt her let go of her inhibitions and he wanted to make it last as long as possible. He had to stop.he knew he did. This was wrong. But something about it just felt very right. He stood there with his fingers inside of her thinking. Always thinking. Christ, Fitzy, just fucking enjoy it.}

And he would have loved to 'just enjoy it' but, there were too many things running through his head. He pulled away from her and started to speak but could not find his voice at first. Erin opened her eyes and smiled at him and left him stunned. Holy Mary, she is so fucking beautiful Then, after clearing his throat, William calmly said, "It's time to go, Erin."

Erin sat up and felt William lift her from the table. In the fifteen to twenty steps it took to get her back to her wheelchair, Erin's mind raced. What just happened? Christ I know what just happened. God, what is going on with me?}

William held her long, thin body close to him and savored the closeness of her. As he set her in the chair she gently, softly kissed his cheek and whispered, "Thank you." And all he could do in return was smile and nod.

When Erin and William went out to the lobby, Merle Durant was there to pick her up. "Hey, Daddy."

Merle smiled and kissed his daughter's forehead. "Your mama's pretty upset with herself. I don't know what happened, but it was enough for her to ask Pastor Jones over." He looked at Erin and saw her sedate expression and then he glanced at William and saw the face of a man deep in thought. About what, however, he had not one iota of a clue, but he knew William was rapt in contemplation. "Good session?"

Erin smiled softly, "Yes, Daddy. It was." Merle nodded at William and led Erin out of the Grayson Center.

As the automatic double doors closed, William felt desperate for a release. Touching Erin had gotten him so wound up. He really needed Vicki. Yes, he could have gone to the restroom, locked the door and let go the tension that had grown.but he wanted to feel flesh against his flesh, breathing with his breaths, moans with his moans. He wanted Erin. But he knew he'd have to settle for Vicki. Settle? No, William, wrong word. But try as he might.he simply couldn't come up with any term at that fit how he felt at that very moment.

{Settle? Oh, God, will I have to 'settle' for the rest of my life? An image of him standing beside Vicki at their fiftieth wedding anniversary popped into his head. It's your nerves. The wedding's only five weeks away. Calm down.}

.



.Merle prattled on about something that Erin had not one shred of interest in as he drove home. It started to rain. Again. Erin watched the huge drops of water slam onto the windshield. The rain always made her feel better. It was like the water washed away all her worries even if not one drop actually touched her skin.

If only she could find something to 'want' she was certain she'd feel better. She wanted to walk, to dance. There was nothing she wanted more in the world than to feel the music surge through her feet and spin around the dance floor. Erin thought about how bitchy and all out rude she had been to Vicki the other day. It's not her fault she's in love, Erin. You were in love once, too.}

She also thought about how it felt to be touched, intimately touched. It felt good. And surprisingly, it didn't tear at her heart to realize that she could 'feel' even though James was not with her. And what William had done to her.for her was so uplifting for spirit. I'm not dead. I'm not. But she was scared that it was a fluke. Maybe it wasn't as real as she thought it was.

She watched the sun peek through the thick cloud cover and felt a wave of something fill her. What was it? Fear? No. Anger? No. Could it be.was it possible.was it optimism? James would be so pissed with how you been acting Erin. It has got to stop. You're going to go crazy if you don't.}

But how would she do it? For nearly half a year she'd lived with so much pain and anger. It wasn't going to be easy. No one ever said life was easy, Durant. Erin looked out onto the horizon and saw a rainbow. No, fucking way. She looked up at the ceiling of her father's car, as if she were looking straight up into heaven. Okay, you know I don't need 'cute' and 'sentimental' signs and portents God. A streak of lightning filled the air. That's better. She laughed.

"What's that, Sweetheart?" Merle turned to his daughter and spied the grin on her face.

"Nothing, Daddy.thinking, just thinking. That's all."