~Epilogue~

That fateful night of October 3rd would be forever etched in Justin's mind. He would never forget that night, the night he received that phone call that would alter the course of his life as well as the lives around him forever. "Justin, I think you need to come right now." It was Chris.

"Where at?" "St Francis Memorial hospital, the emergency room." Justin could tell that Chris wanted to say more, but he didn't need to know more. He hung quickly without saying good-bye. He was already on his way. Justin drove to the hospital effortlessly. It was nearly 3 am and at such late hours, there wasn't a car in sight. He could barely see past the tears in his eyes. Chris's voice when he called told him that something had happened, something bad had happened. What? He did not know. When he arrived at the hospital, he met with his friends briefly before being ushered through a hall, around the corner, and through another hall, until he was finally stopped in front of a room.

"Mr. Bass is waiting for you." The nurse told him. "Thank you." He whispered, inaudibly. His focus was on his best friend inside. Justin pushed the door slightly until he could slip inside. Once inside, he slowly shut the door behind. He turned around and he gasped out loud, collapsing onto the floor. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to shake away the image of Lance's bandaged face unsuccessfully. "C'mere." Lance mumbled, so soft Justin barely heard him until Lance struggled to pat the side of the bed for Justin to join him. It took a moment for Justin to register what Lance was talking about. Once he did, he rushed to Lance's bedside, taking the seat vacant for him to fill by his side. Lance took Justin's hand in his and squeezed it gently, assuring him that things would be fine.

"Do you remember that one story we read together because I had fallen behind and you helped me by reading half of the book to me so I could catch up?" Lance spoke warmly, reminiscing over past memories. "That one story about those Chinese girls." "You mean the Joy Luck Club." "Yeah, that's the one." "Yeah, I remember." Justin said. "Well, there's that story about the magpies. Don't remember the girl's name." Lance paused as if to ponder over the names of the characters in the story. "Go on." Justin urged him. "Because her mother was weak, she killed herself to give her daughter the strength." Lance's lips trembled as he spoke to Justin, who only shed more tears as he listened to Lance's labored breathing. "I'm the mother in that story and Joey's my daughter." "Don't talk like that, Lance. You'll be alright. You'll be alright. We'll get the best doctor around to heal you." Justin cried, refusing to face the truth before him.

Lance shook his head, sadly. He took both Justin's hands in his and closed his hands over Justin's. "No. I know that it's bad. I'm not going to make it, Justin. Hopefully when I'm gone, Joey will gain that strength." "Lance." Justin cried, shook even more rigorously. "Shh." Lance brought his hands to Justin's face, cupping Justin's face in his palms. "Everything's going to be alright. And you'll help Joey for me, won't you, please? Please say you will. Help him find that strength to lead him forward. Please, Justin. This is all I ask of you. Please." Justin heard the pleading in Lance's voice even though with each breath, Justin sensed Lance's life slipping by. He heard the crying from Lance, but he could not force himself to open his eyes to see Lance in the condition that he was in. With each beat of the heart, the intensity grew dimmer and dimmer. Justin knew time was running out and he quickly nodded his head, promising his best friend that he would look after his boyfriend and see to it that Joey had that strength to carry through. When he finally opened his eyes, again, he discovered that time had ran out. The EKG now flat. Lance was gone.

No one knew what went on behind that hospital door, inside that hospital room. Justin emerged from the room an hour late. His head hung low as he walked back to the lobby. As Chris paced back and forth, waiting for the doctors to tell them Joey's status, and JC rocked himself in the chair, humming to the first song they ever sang together, "The Star Spangled Banner", Justin sat by himself. His eyes fixated on the red scrawl on the opposite wall. His mind focused on what he would tell Joey once he was conscious. He had made a promise to Lance and he intended to keep that promise. In no time, the doctor joined them in the lobby, announcing that it was a miracle, that they were able to save Joey, but he would have to remain at the hospital for the entire week. Everyone cheered for Joey's safety. And as they celebrated a life saved, Justin managed to slip away, and into Joey's room. He sat by Joey's bedside, taking his hand in his, and holding it tightly, not ever wanting to let go. When Joey finally became conscious and the pain from the surgery subsided to a bearable degree, Justin decided it was time to tell Joey of his lost. "Joey, I have something to tell you." Justin began. And as if Joey could read Justin's mind, his eyes started to mist over and Joey started to cry, something that Justin had never seen before. He shook his head in denial. "This can't be true." Joey kept repeating. "He only had three drinks. He only drank three glasses. We were driving home. He was behind the wheel because I had far too many drinks. He only had three. As we were driving home, I saw lights. Bright, blinding lights. I saw her. I saw her." "Who, Joe? Who did you see? Who did you see that night?" "The God of Wine!" Joey roared. The intensity of his voice startled Justin. and he wanted to get out of the room, but Joey grabbed his arm and held him in place. Fear radiated from Justin's eyes as he struggled to get away. Then, suddenly Joey wrapped his arms around him, burying his face against Justin's chest, weeping.

"I saw her, Justin. I saw her. She came to punish me. Instead, she got Lance. He tried to swerve away, but he couldn't. The alcohol-it affected him. He couldn't swerve away. If it weren't for me, Lance would be alive today. I saw her. I saw her." Joey kept repeating. Justin sat still as Joey continued to mourn for his love lost. Hesitantly, he brought his arms to encircle around Joey and soon they locked themselves, together, and wept. There was no more hate for Joey in his heart.

After being discharged from the hospital, Joey checked himself into a treatment facility while maintaining personal therapy with Dr. Blackwell. He took his Antabuse everyday. He attended the AA meetings nightly. When asked to join friends out at town, Joey would politely decline. He no longer wished to mix with alcohol, no longer wish to be near it. The mere scent of alcohol now made him nausea. Justin, JC, and Chris would stop by, offering Joey emotional support as he mourned over Lance while attempting to put his life back together. And Justin would watch from afar. In his mind, Joey no longer needed them by his side. It was as if the strength of Lance's character had passed onto Joey for Joey was a different man. He had determination to succeed like Lance had determination to succeed in everything that he did. He was more perceptive just as Lance was. Everything Lance was, Joey was now. And soon on Christmas Eve, Joey completed a three month program. His certificate of completion, Joey burned, recovering the ashes to place in Lance's urn. Lance would most certainly be proud of him. There was no doubt that Joey Fatone lied beside his lover's body on the side of the road, that he died that fateful night. And like the legendary Golden Phoenix, he, too reborn from his ashes that burned with his lover's, becoming a brand new soul, the man Joey Fatone of today. ~Golden Phoenix was inspired by Third Eye Blind's "God of Wine" from their debut album. GOD OF WINE Every thought that I repent There's another chip you haven't spent And you're cashing them all in Where do we begin to get clean again Can we get clean again

I walk home alone with you And the mood you're born into Sometimes you let me in And I take it on the chin I can't get clean again I want to know can we get clean again

The God of Wine comes crashing through The headlights of a car that took you farther Than you thought you'd ever want to go We can't get back again We can't get back again

She takes a drink and then she waits The alcohol it permeates And soon the cells give way, and cancels out the day

I can't keep it all together I know I know I know. I can't keep it all together And the siren's song that is your madness Holds a truth I can't erase All alone on your face

Every glamorous sunrise Throws the planets out of line A star sign out of whack, a fraudulent zodiac And the God of Wine is crouched down in my room You let me down, I said it, now I'm going down And you're not even around And I said no no no.

I can't keep it all together I know I know I know. I can't keep it all together And there's a memory of a window Looking through I see you Searching for something I could never give you And there's someone who understands You more than I do A sadness I can't erase All alone on your face