It seems that Philo had been raised in a fairly normal family, which was not intimidated at all by the subject or performance of sex, provided it was done safely and lovingly. Unfortunately as he grew older and began to encounter the world that existed beyond his family, he discovered to his amazement that sex was something not to be discussed in polite society or for that matter even acknowledged until one came of age. This coming of age thing really bothered the hell out of him since no two people had the same idea of what this age was, and what constituted "coming". Having been gifted with a high level of native intelligence through some mutation that must have occurred many generations previous, Philo managed to accommodate himself to this rather schizophrenic view of things sexual. He merely ignored those "facts" that seemed to make no logical sense, and did as he damn well pleased, using his family view of things as his guideline.

On occasion this did cause some trouble such as the time he and Jenny Watson did a bit more than play doctor. Then there was the matter involving himself and old Mrs.Longwell who had been a widow for some number of years, but still remembered what it was like to have this warm bundle of manhood now and then tapping her on the shoulder, especially in the dead of night, to suggest that the two of them engage in a merging of the loins. Having never been with a woman of her senior status, Philo jumped at the chance to further his education in this vital matter. Things went very well for some months until a peeping tom got a look at the two of them going at it, and blew the whistle. It was settled out of court, shall we say, but Mrs.Longwell had to promise to avoid any social contact with Philo until he reached his majority, which in his state was eighteen.

There were other events during his college days, his time at NASA and the lengthy periods he spent gaining all manner of advanced degrees. Philo was content with the accommodation between himself and the outside world when it came to matters sexual. Then there was his epiphany in outer space, or technically speaking, low earth orbit. Philo was proud of his achievement, damn proud, but unfortunately he could not reap the benefits or accolades that might have accrued to him in a more sane society, one not so enmeshed in the bonds of the past that extended back to those sexually repressed souls who originally settled this great nation.

He, like most of his astronaut peers, had heard the stories of what effect the moon had on some of those blessed with the opportunity to walk upon this barren hunk of rock. However it came as a distinct surprise, or perhaps shock would be more accurate, when Philo Plankton had to face up to the fact that having sex in outer space had affected him irrevocably. The rest, as they say, is history. Philo was on a crusade to bring the rest of the country back into something resembling a safe haven when it came to the issue of sex. He hoped to do this through his company E-cubed. Unlike his peers in the smut business, Philo had the energy, intelligence and financial clout to make things happen. He was bound and determined to produce porn for cable. His stuff would not be the vapid, teaser type that played in the early mornings, but full contact, down and dirty sex for the masses boadcast in high fidelity sound during prime time.

The breadth of his vision was awe inspiring. However to me what he was trying to accomplish already existed in many portions of this great land. It was part and parcel of what living in the country was all about. I felt sorry that the poor man had never gone back to his roots. Kansas was part of the country, always was, always would be. It's just that folks didn't make a big, damned deal about such things as sex out of wedlock and the like. It was merely accepted as part of the development process, no big damned deal! I was hard pressed not to tell my employer, friend and sometimes mentor this fact. I deferred however since I realized he was too wrapped up in his own vision of what was right and proper to take off his own blinders and take a good look at what was going on around him.

I was still ruminating on the little exposition he had just presented, when he abruptly changed the conversation to address the reason that I had made this arduous trek to the strange world of the Left Coast. His opening remark made little sense to me until he translated it into words that I could understand. "I just got your test results back from the lab. I'm happy to tell you that you're free of all sexually transmitted diseases that they normally screen our actors and actresses for, and in addition you show no signs of any type of HIV infection. In a word, you are clean and are authorized to perform as required by your current employer, E-cubed. On the other issue I have to say that the news is not as good. Your sperm count was well above average for a person your age, but there is a motility issue. According to what I know of this characteristic your condition has probably been with you since birth. I am truly sorry to have to break this news to you like this, but the truth must be said."

The word "motility" had no meaning for me. Was it some kind of a disease I had? If so, was it fatal or debilitating? What did it have to do with whether or not all those kids Rhonda kept having were mine or someone else's? My mind was in a quandry, so I blurted out my fears for Philo to ponder. He gave me this halfway smile and those laser eyes lit up, preparing to perhaps zap me out of my misery. "Your tadpoles can't swim, they can barely float." His words continued to confound me. "What the hell do tadpoles have to do with this motility you just mentioned?" I cried out in desperation. Philo shook his head and looked at me as if I were the family pet; something to love and give love, but dumb as a post.

"Your sperm do not have the ability to swim upstream to reach the woman's egg. Motility is just a fancy word for being able to move. Your sperm don't swim, they barely float. It would take a major miracle for one of those sinkers to somehow make it up Rhonda's birth canal and fasten itself to one of her fertile eggs. Now I do have some ideas for a method by which we might be able to artifically inseminate your wife with your sperm and in that manner allow you two to become parents, but even that might be a long shot and I really don't want to tear myself away from my next production. By the way, there is a part for you in this one as a stunt cock. It's called "Sperm Splattered Sluts" and you'd be perfect."

My world began to whirl and I held out my empty glass towards Philo, unable to speak. He understood and quickly refilled my glass with more of that wonderful amber fluid that had the power to calm and even comfort those who imbibed it in the proper spirit. I had much to ponder now. Rather than overload my sorry self with even more concerns and options, I chose the bliss of forgetfulness. The next morning I paid the price for my indiscretion, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do.

Once I sobered up and got rid of the hangover, I resolved to take my time about what to do with the information that Philo had given me. So to wile away the time before things coalesced in my mind, I threw myself into supporting Philo's latest production, the aforementioned "Sperm Splattered Sluts". Unlike the last few videos he had turned out, this one was sort of lean on plot, but fat, very fat with new faces and figures, all taking enormous amounts of the white stuff all over those shiny new targets.

Philo was planning a new, point of view (POV) approach that involved the use of multiple cameras, slow motion and split screens that showed the money shot from a variety of very interesting angles, including head-on. This latter view was the product of his technical genius. It was a microcamera that fit neatly within the hairdo, head band or whatever tiny area deemed necessary to provide the full effect on the actress, also known as ground zero, taking a load of cum from point blank range. In fact, "ground zero" and "point blank" had been a couple of the titles that had been kicked around before it was decided that they were a bit too pretentious for a video of this type.

We were holding wet run auditions all over the building. It seemed that almost every room contained a number of semi-naked young things on their knees doing their level best to assist the stunt cock in producing sufficient quantities of the white stuff to show off their ability to absorb the blast and come away smiling as they licked the remnants from their kissers and tried to look as if they had enjoyed it. I had to admit that looking as if one had just enjoyed being buried in cum did take some acting skill.

Late in the day I got my second chance to audition a sweet young thing. My first target was a jaded high school dropout with enough tattoos to start her own studio. She was a bit deficient in the tit department as well, and had to be reminded to smile once she had sucked me to the point that I could finish the task with a half dozen or so strokes while she waited, looking totally bored by it all. I have no idea what her name was, but I do know that she was among the group that were found wanting for a role of this depth and complexity. I strode into the tiny cubicle that housed this latest debutante and ran smack into my seatmate from Oklahoma, CC.

At first Connie Cunny didn't recognize me. I had to, in a sense, reintroduce myself to her and even then her reaction was less than what I had expected. My inquiry concerning the health and well-being of Jake created a dark look that slowly crossed her features. It seems that her helpmate from the bus had used her badly and left once he had drained her of her financial resources and she had turned down his offer to become her pimp in exchange for half her earnings. Currently she was slinging hash at an all night diner and rooming with another unfortunate such as herself who had come to La-La Land to make her fortune, and failed miserably before she could even begin. This was her last shot at fame and fortune before she gave up her dream and started saving up for a bus ticket back to Oklahoma. She was astonished to discover that I had succeeded in the very industry that she had set her mind on for the past five years.

I explained to CC what was expected of her, and she swiftly removed her blouse and bra to reveal those magnificent mammaries, now dotted with what looked to be burn marks overlaid by some major league bruises, both part of the going away party that Jake threw for her. It lasted some two days and nights during which she accommodated the needs of about two dozen gentlemen who had paid Jake a finder's fee to introduce them to her. They introduced themselves to every hole she possessed, and most of them did it more than once during that marathon gangbang. To incentivize her to expend the energy required to show these upstanding members of the male kingdom the best she had to offer, Jake took to extinguishing his cigarettes on her tits and using them as punching bags whenever her attention to her customers' needs flagged. That had taken place three weeks ago. I felt truly sick over what had befallen this once bubbling young lady with a dream. If truth be told, there was no way I could develop an erection considering what I now knew about this unfortunate young woman.

CC dutifully waited as I excused myself and sought out Philo to ask a favor. It took some time to get his ear, but within a minute Philo added a new member to his production staff, one Connie Cunny. I returned to where CC still knelt, waiting for her chance to become gainfully employed in the industry she had dreamed about working in for those many years. I had the happy task of breaking the news to her that as of today she had been taken on as a member of the production staff at E-cubed, an opportunity that many in the industry would have killed for if given the chance. The look of bewilderment that came across her face made me sad; the poor dear didn't even know that her ship had come in. If she worked hard, who knows what position she might hold in a matter of months. All one had to do was look at my meteoric rise to my current exalted position as a stunt cock. It is interesting to finally realize, as I did at this moment, that the very water you are swimming in has begun to pollute your being to the point that your values have mutated into something monstrous.

For the next week I immersed myself in the details of getting this technically advanced porn video finished. I am proud to say that three of the thirty-odd money shots were from yours truly. Even though I hadn't spent any significant amount of time weighing the pros and cons of staying in La-La Land or returning to that portion of the country where I had been born and raised, it became apparent that my trek had borne fruit and it was now time to return to my roots. I would go back to my home and hearth a better man, one who had some scores to settle and ledgers to bring into balance.

Philo did not act surprised when I informed him of my decision and expressed my everlasting thanks for what he had done for me. He gave me a knowing grin and a thumbs up sign. "Give em hell. Just remember when you get back home to make sure that your life is what you want it to be, not some compromise that will make you weak and easily managed by those around you. As for myself, I'll continue my crusade to raise the level of consciousness of this great nation concerning the power and benefits of being open to things sexual. I know it will be a long struggle, but I'll enjoy every minute of it, because this is what I was created to do. By the way I am acknowledging, in the credits, your assistance in the production of "Sperm Splattered Sluts". If you leave your address with my assistant, Ms. Cunny, I shall have a copy sent to you for your edification and amusement. While I'm on the subject of Ms. Cunny, she is very interested in meeting with you this evening to, as she puts it, deliver on an unfulfilled promise. I know nothing more than that." From the twinkle in his beady eyes I knew he was fibbing, but I forgave him for being human.

My objective for my meeting with CC was to leave as friends, two people from the country who had made the perilous journey to La-La Land and survived the experience. Her agenda was a bit more ambitious, and being the gentleman that I always thought I should be, I went along with her plans for the evening and was a better man for it. Her outstanding tits were prominently displayed courtesy of a shelf bra she had liberated from wardrobe. I was delighted to observe that the cigarette burns and bruises were fading away, soon to be nothing more than an unpleasant memory. Her matching bikinis framed her second best feature which peeked out from the sheer covering that did nothing to shield those twin mounds of pink that guarded her private place. I was transfixed by this amazing display of firm youthful flesh and for a change was struck speechless. The rest of our evening together will remain within our hearts and minds as a wonderful keepsake, not to be exposed to the judgement of others.

Suffice to say I had some wonderful memories to warm me as the bus returned me to whence I had come some many weeks ago. In a sense it seemed as if I had been away for half a lifetime, because I had learned so much about things that did not exist in the world of the country folk. Always the class act, Philo Plankton arranged for me to be driven to the bus stop in downtown La-La. So it was that I completed the first portion of the circle that would be full once I arrived back in the country. I would like to regale everyone with the stories associated with my trip back across the nation's heartland, but there is little to tell. I had various seatmates, both men and women, but none proved to be very gregarious, all of them uniformly wrapped in their own thoughts and dreams. Then late in the evening on the second day of the trip I returned to my place in the universe and was at last happy and satisfied with my situation in this place. I had put the time on the bus to good use. I now had a plan to right some wrongs and bring order from the chaos that had nearly overwhelmed me. I could hardly wait to get home and confront my faithless wife.

Another Epilogue

To those readers who indulged me as I wandered from the main path of the story, my thanks. Be advised that henceforth I am returning my protagonist to his roots and devil take the hindmost. Naturally he will have to reach some type of accommodation with his faithless wife and her brood, none of whom are related in any way to him. This is good and then again, not so good, but I'm sure it will be entertaining as he deals with the female members of Rhonda's family.

He also has the matter of settling the score with one Mimi Marlowe, who will now come center stage, and not just for a few minutes either. First and foremost is the issue of the arrangement she made to provide the Tolliver twins, Terri and Traci, in exchange for the opportunity to use Marty and Marie. That has been rather one-sided to this point, and will be rectified, you can be sure of that. Then there is the matter of what's to become of Marty and Marie; that will prove to be another element that comes front and center. Let's not forget that May and Mabel also have to come correct. Add to this stew Mimi's harem, and a few other characters that have been festering in my deranged mind, and you have the recipe for many more interesting chapters of Livin' In the Country. So hang on tight, and whatever you do, don't look down!