Mom died last year and I miss her, I miss her a lot for she was the only woman who I loved more then life itself. My wife of twenty some years misses her also and tells me so by gently hugging me and whispering softly into my ear of all the loving moments we three shared when ever she sees me stare into the distance with a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Then enfolding me into her arms she tenderly, passionately kisses me and because she is so much like mom in so many ways for a fleeting moment it is my mother's lips I feel and her face that I see.

After the French lost at Dien Bien Phu my dad was one of the ones that served as an advisor in Viet Nam from 1958 till 1963. For five straight years my dad lived in the jungles training and fighting along side the people trying to keep the communist from taking over South Viet Nam. Mom later told me I was conceived the night before he left, a night of tenderness and passionate love making, a night when neither of them knew if he would ever come home and one that lived in her memory till she died.

His letters were few and far between and when Mom did get letters from him they were usually short and contained little more then the hardships he endured along with the names of friends of his that had either been killed or were missing in action. When he finally did come home in 1963 his family, mom and me, were like strangers to him, and though he treated us kindly it was still stressful and I would cry a lot. It was at those times that mom would tell me that even though my dad loved me he found it hard to show affection to a son he had never known and a wife who he had not seen in years. It was also about that time that mom started drinking and I didn't find out until later that it was because of dad's inability to show affection to the people that loved him the most. I guess he'd just seen to many people that he'd lived and fought alongside of killed, and he was afraid that if he showed any love and affection to mom and me something horrible would happen to us.

Life can be funny that way because in trying to protect us dad was making things harder without realizing it, but even through all the inner turmoil he was going through dad never lashed out at mom or me. Still though the mental anguish mom endured must have been tremendous to make her turn to the bottle. And then one day in 1965 hardly a year after he'd stepped back into our lives he never returned from Fort Dix, and it wasn't until 3 days later when mom was talking to the wife of the supply sergeant that we learned that dad along with several other veterans had shipped out to Nam again. Mom became even more depressed and it wasn't until after several visits to the base Doctor that she was able to cope.

Our lives pretty much slipped back to the way they were before dad appeared for a short time but then one day in 1969 when I got home from school mom was sitting on the kitchen floor crying. Broken dishes as well as pots and pans were laying all over the floor and I was scared because I thought she had hurt herself but then she grabbed me hugging me so hard that I really did become frightened. In between sobs mom told me that my dad was missing in action and though I really didn't understand what that meant I cried like a baby. Through all her troubles mom took care of me, protecting and sheltering me from the cruel things that were said about my dad and the other men serving in Viet Nam, but 1970 was an especially bad year for mom because that's when we learned that dad had been listed as killed in action. There was one bright spot at least for me though, because even when I got into trouble at school for fighting boy's that said my dad deserved to be killed mom told me she was proud of me, and as she pulled my nineteen year old body to her lap and rocked me as if I were a baby I swore to her that I would be her man and that I would never leave her like my dad had done, and here begins the story.

Mom made our home happy again and over the next few years she hugged and kissed me a lot telling me that she loved her little man and my heart would swell with pride and love for her as I threw my little arms around her and kissed her back. About the time I started noticing girls in 1973 my friends and I would talk about some really pretty girl that we knew or had seen, saying how big her titties were and how well her body was shaped and even though none of us had even kissed a girl let alone slept with one there was a lot of bravado about how we would like to fuck her. And then one day one of the guys snuck a couple of his dads girlie magazines out and we spent the afternoon looking at naked women. I couldn't help but compare them to my Mom as I looked at the pictures, to me none of them looked anywhere near as pretty or had a figure like hers.

You see, mom worked out at least three times a week and though she was 32 years old, her slim girlish figure and beautiful face made the women in the magazine look ugly by comparison. Until that moment I had never really compared her to anyone else, she was mom, always there, always caring and to my eyes the most beautiful and loving mother in the world, but at that moment as her pretty face danced in my minds eye I began comparing her to other mothers as well as to the women in the magazine. As the vision of her lightly freckled smiling face surrounded by her long reddish blond hair and her trim figure danced before me I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there wasn't another woman on the face of the earth that could hold a candle to her and that if I lived to be a hundred I would never met another like her. Moms tits were what us boys called a mouth full, but to me they were more appealing then the big hooters the women in the magazine had, and when combined with her narrow waist which flared out to hips and buttocks that I unquestionably knew to be perfectly proportioned there was just no reason to wish differently. And as I pictured Mom's curvaceous figure, I felt my dick get so hard that my balls hurt, perhaps the best way to describe her would be to say she rivaled the Vargas girls.

I began sneaking peeks at mom when ever I could, not only trying to see up her miniskirts without her noticing but also watching her through cracks in doors as she either showered or dressed. Sometimes I would even force myself to stay awake and then sneak into her room, where through the dim light coming from the window I would stand beside her bed and just gaze at her for what seemed like hours. The mornings following these late night excursions were always trying on me because of lack of sleep but now that I think back on those days mom was always fresh and vibrant and fussed over me a little more then usual before sending me off to school. When I returned home, looking even more haggard mom was always there to greet me, for you see mom never worked, never had to, because dad had left her a great deal of money through insurance and investments and though we were not what people called rich we never hurt for anything, so like I said Mom was always at home. On those especially trying days when she welcomed me home it was always with a warm smile and a longer then usual hug and kiss as well as a snack while telling me her little man needed to keep up his strength. I didn't understand what she meant at the time but I gloried in the extra attention I received.

I had always hugged and kissed Mom before and after school but more and more often I was holding my lips against hers longer then what most people consider proper for a boy and his mother and at the same time I would rub my young body against hers as I told her I loved her. I was walking around with a hard on almost all the time and a couple of times as I held her close and kissed her mom would pull back, gently holding me at arms length while looking at me kind of funny and it was at times like that, that I was afraid she suspected me of having carnal thoughts, but never the less the very next time I kissed her I would do the same thing without even thinking about it for my actions in response to the closeness of her body were like second nature to a horny love sick 18 year old. A couple of months after I had started all this I asked her why she had never gone out with anybody in all the time my dad had been away and a small tear slid down her cheek as she told me that she still loved my dad, and then tussling my hair playfully she said there was no reason to ever go out because she already had a man at home that loved her and who she deeply loved. That was it, I was utterly and hopelessly in love more so then ever before and not even God himself could have stopped what happened that Saturday morning.

When mom came into my room to wake me as usual that Saturday morning I pretended to be asleep though in truth my eyes were mere slits and I could see her every movement. As she leaned over me lightly shaking my shoulder and saying get up sleepy head the fresh washed scent of her body as well as her perfume was intoxicating. It took all the will power I had to stop myself from reaching out and grab her as she reached for and then pulled my covers off. Her gasp as she uncovered my naked body and viewed my 5 inch prick pointing straight at the ceiling was like music to my ears. My young mind flashed with a madrid of thoughts trying to decipher the meaning of her gasp. Was it shock or surprise that her little man had a hard on, or was it excitement and arousal at the sight of a mans organ for the first time in years. I honestly expected her to throw the covers back over me and rush from my room but instead and to my delight she stood there looking at my boner. I won't pretend to know what mom was thinking that first time as she stared at my dick but I knew what I was thinking and while still pretending to be asleep I stretched lazily while at the same time putting my hand around my dick murmuring under my breath that I'd like to fuck her.

Mom bent down to hear what I was mumbling and as her hair brushed my face I whispered that I loved her and then I threw my arms around her neck pulling her atop me kissing her deeply, even pushing my tongue into her mouth like I had heard older boys say that girls liked. At first she didn't do anything, just lay there atop me limp but then she tried to untangle my arms and rise from the bed. My hand touched her breast and without thinking or really knowing why I tenderly squeezed her breast and then took her nipple between my thumb and forefinger and rolled it between them. Pulling away from me she just sat on the edge of my bed with her back to me, her shoulders shaking slightly, and as I tried to hug her she brushed my hands away sobbing don't. As I lay there naked with her sitting fully clothed on my bed I told her I was sorry but that I loved her so much it hurt and then I rolled over and began crying myself. I felt her move and then her hand brushed my face gently and I stopped crying as I heard her whisper she loved me too.

As I turned back to her I saw that when she had shifted about she had without thinking raised her right leg to the bed bending it at the knee which naturally spread her legs far apart there by giving me an unhampered view of her panties, and my cock felt like it grew another inch and got twice as hard. I don't think mom was even aware that her skirt was almost around her waist exposing her panties to my young eager eyes as her hand lightly glided over my face brushing away my tears, but I was, and then softly repeating she loved her little man she bent forward pressing her lips to mine pushing her tongue into my mouth. My heart was beating so fast and loud that I thought it would burst from my chest as our tongues entwined and then her fingers raked softly over my chest and belly before closing around my throbbing dick. As our lips mashed against each other and her fingers tightened and then slowly began to stroke my dick I moaned softly into moms mouth feeling for all the world as if I had died and gone to heaven and if possible my young heart was filled with even more love for her. Finely she broke the kiss but she still continued to stroke my dick and then her beautiful sweet lips were tickling my ear and she was whispering that it had been so long and for her little man to go slow. Now telling a young 18 year old sex crazed boy in love to go slow or to be gentle is like asking water to flow up hill, but I tried, God knows I tried. Pulling her on top of me I began fondling her breast and then I pulled her face to mine and as I kissed her deeply I breathed into her mouth that I loved her over and over. Her fingernails raked over my heaving chest, scraping my nipples sending electric shocks up my body and then she pulled away from me and stood for a minute looking down at me with a funny look on her beautiful face. Then with an almost imperceptible shrug of her shoulders she began removing her clothes and as I watched her undress my small heart beat like a bass drum in my chest. When she slid her panties down her long legs and then laid down beside me I just knew I had died and that I was indeed in heaven. As I crawled atop her she looked deep into my eyes and again whispered for me to go slow as she reached between us and guided my dick to her pussy whispering repeatedly that she loved her little man.