Chapter 9: recovery and escape

During the following weeks Michael recovered slowly. He was fed trough the tubes that had been inserted into his body until the wound in his throat had healed. As the orderlies finally removed them from him, he had to get used to eating again since the scar tissue that had formed around his trachea was pushing against his gullet painfully. Although he had regained his ability to speak, it was still terrible difficult for him to form more than 2 or 3 words at once. However, nurse Angelica who had watched over him during his recovery, insisted that he kept practicing half an hour a day. She had brought him books so he could train his voice by reading aloud, she also hoped that they would reduce his boredom and keep his mind of his problems.

"Here." And she handed him a copy of 1984 by George Orwell. "It is one of my favorites. If you promise to read al least one page a day aloud, I promise you that your voice will be completely recovered by the time you finish the book." Michael was sitting in his bed with his restrains removed. He had been put back into a straitjacket but his health was good and he had somehow managed to recover some of his confidence. He was very thankful for everything Angelica had done for him, she had been there to encourage him when he learning to eat solid food again and without her, he would probably had lost all hope of ever be able to recover his voice.

He gave her a friendly smile. "What is it about?" His voice was hoarse and almost inaudible, but still she knew what he wanted to say. She had spent so much time with him by now, that she almost knew what every little gesture or expression on his face meant. She had in fact fell in love with every aspect of him secretly.

"ItĄŻs about the suppression of individual freedom. I think you would like it. Give it a try, even if you are not going to read it aloud."

"I like to read it but." Anglica laughed as Michael pulled a serious face and nodded towards his arms, which were packed into his sleeves firmly. "Maybe I can flip the pages with my nose." He joked and he was rewarded with another sweet smile on her face. God, he loved it when she smiled. She got that twinkle in her eyes when she laughed and the corners of her beautiful lips will curl up like rose paddles.

"That ĄŽs no excuse not to read it. But if you want I can flip open the pages for you. Or, I can read it to you." Michael looked up at her and smiled. "I would like that." Angelica sat down at the side of his bed and she wetted her fingertips. She turned the first page and began to read to him.

After a while, the visits that Angelica paid to Michael grew more frequent. Except for reading to him and following his progress in speaking, she also started to talk about all different kind of things that occupied her daily life. Michael enjoyed her visits since she was the only person in the institute that he regarded as a friend. Angelica lived alone in a little cottage just outside town. She had a garden with a 19th century greenhouse that was fallen into decay when she moved in but she had it carefully restored to its original state. She loved gardening, roses were her favorite and she grew different types of them in her garden. Except for her cat Theodore she had nobody to look after her here in Blackstone. Her family lived in Baltimore and she visited them every holiday. It seemed to Michael that Angelica was a bit lost and lonely, someone who wanted to be strong and independent but on the inside was still afraid to be alone.

Michael on his turn told her about what his life was like before he was committed. He had a job as a head research scientist at a major pharmaceutical company in Chicago, where he lived in a what he called highly overpaid apartment. Michael was an outgoing type of guy, witty, charming and good looking, respected and liked by his colleagues at work and he had many good friends. He liked his job and after work he used to hang out with his pales in bars, having a drink and talking about the games. If the weather was good, he took a day off and went fishing on his boat on Michigan Lake. He enjoyed taking friends out for dinner, attended parties and flirted with the women who were attracted to him like bees to flowers. Frankly, he was quite happy with his life as it was. Then he met Leasa. He was introduced to her at a private dinner party of one of his married pales. At the night that they first met she wore a tight flaming red dress that had a high split on the side, revealing her long silky legs. She also had her hair down and as she approached Michael, walking elegantly on here high heeled shoes, waving her drink in one hand and looking o so temptingly into his eyes, he fell in love with her instantly. They got engaged after only dating for 3 weeks and Michael would have married her immediately if she was not telling him that she was not sure about it yet. So they established a long distance relationship. Leasa, who was in town for visiting her brother, went back to Windsor where she lived and worked and Michael went to see her every weekend. In the beginning it was difficult for him to focus on his normal life in Chicago during the week since he was so addicted her, but eventually he accepted the fact that she wanted more time for their relationship to evolve and he used to make the time that they spent together as special as possible. However, he wandered if all women were as careful as Leasa when it came to choosing the right man. He wondered if Angelica was also involved with somebody that she kept on a distance because she wasnĄŻt sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

"Are you seeing somebody?" He asked when she was visiting him again on a late afternoon. Michael had noticed for a while that Angelica was wearing a silver ring that she never took off, even when she was bathing him. Angelica looked at Michael with a surprised expression on her face.

"ItĄŻs because of the ring that you are wearing all the time."

Angelica smiled and pink blushes appear on her transparent white cheeks as she said; "ItĄŻs an engagement ring, and yes I am engaged."

Michael realized to his surprise that he was somehow feeling disappointed hearing her already being involved with someone, although he didnĄŻt understood why. Angelica had been a real angel for him but he was not falling in love with her, or was he? Was there not a strong longing for her deep down that had been fed trough the days that she had cared for him? Was it only gratitude that he felt toward her? As soon as these thoughts rose inside his mind he brushed them aside immediately. What good will it do to have feelings for her, he was an inmate, a lunatic, stripped from all his rights and freedom. She wouldnĄŻt be interested in him. They can never be together in this lifetime. Loving her would only make his life more miserable than it already was.

"Who is the lucky guy?" He asked as indifferently as possible to hide his true feelings.

"ItĄŻs someone you know, itĄŻs Dane Marshall, and we are engaged since September last year."

As he heard the name of her fianc¨Ś, his disappointment made way for relief. "Congratulations!" He said sincerely. "I am sure that he will make you very happy, he is a good man."

Angelica looked at him with her sky-blue eyes in which he sometimes seemed to drown. "I know that he is a good man, he is the only good person in this whole dammed institute."

She sat down by his bedside and bended over towards him. MichaelĄŻs heart started to bump in his chest, she was so close now, he could smell her sweet perfume that mingled with her sweat. He tried to remind himself that he was not in love with her, but his heart seemed to have a mind of his own. Angelica swept a lock of hair away that was dangling in front of her eyes, it brushed aside her long delicate neck.

"But still.I am not sure if I want to marry him. Sometimes I think that what we have is not love, but merely friendship, soul mates that share the same moral principles in a place that has none." She reached out and with her soft hand she touches his cheek.

"Or maybe I am just too afraid to be alone."

Slowly, she bended her head towards him and kissed his forehead, she gently stroke his two day old beard and then guided with her other hand his chin towards her. Michael was overwhelmed by her, his pulse was racing and he started to sweat. How he longed to kiss her on her moist lips and tough her soft hair. If he could just free his hands from his restrains. Suddenly, she forced her warm lips against his passionately. Michael was surprised, but returned her kisses eagerly. She put her arms around his neck and he lost himself in her embrace. He closed his eyes as she forced her tongue inside his mouth, he breathed in her warmth and swallowed her fluids. She sat on top of him now with her legs spread on each side. Her crotch was pressed against his lid and he could feel the warmth of her vagina through her nickers, making him mad with longing for her. For a moment, he felt that she was the center of the universe, she burned as hot and bright as the sun.

She finally detached herself from his lips and pushed him aside. Her breasts that were captured in her blouse were dancing up and down as she tried to catch her breath again. Michael looked at her as she tidied up her uniform and her hair. She looked so beautiful and he realized that he felt so much for her that it was impossible to lie to himself any longer, he was in love with her and he had it bad.

Angelica stood up silently and kissed him one more time on his lips while she ran her hands through his dark hair. Softly she whispered; "I am not afraid to be alone anymore. I have found you."

Michael was happy but also confused as she spoke out these words, she had also feelings for him, thatĄŻs for sure, but how was she supposed to deal with Dane? Dane was a good man, he had helped Michael on many occasions when he was tortured by Jake. He didnĄŻt want to repay his gratitude by cheating on his fianc¨Ś. But still, his feelings for her were so strong, he didnĄŻt thought that he was able to control it.

"What about Dane?" He asked, regretting the question as soon as he had spoken out the words.

Angelica raised her eyebrows and reacted as she was suddenly awoken from a dream, she moved away from him and walked silently to the door. As she reached it, she turned around and said softly; "I am not a heartless woman, you have to believe me.But Dane and I."

She fell into a silence as she looked down to her hands and fumbled her ring. Her face was pale and it seemed as if she was struggling with the emotions inside her. Finally she raised her head and said; "You are right Michael, maybe this was a mistake." She turned away with and sad expression on her face and left.

Michael was left pondering with his own thoughts when early in the evening Jake and his pale Fly came by. Michael had not dealt with them for almost a month now and was of course not eager to see them, their sudden appearance placed a cold knot in his stomach. This meant trouble, he thought.

"So little white shit, are you getting better? I sure hope so cause the Doc ordered us to bring you back to your cell, no more soft beds and nice hot meals for you anymore pale! And no more nice nurse AngelicaĄŻs cunt for you either!" Michael flushed with anger as he heard this; "DonĄŻt talk like that about nurse Angelica, we didnĄŻt do anything! Stop badmouthing her or I will."

"Or you will do what? You little fuck!"

Jake hit him three to four times hard in the face with his knuckles, causing him to fling to one side of the bed. He then pulled his head up by his hair to face his own. Michael could smell his bad cigarette breath as Jake spoke; "You think that we will be more gentle with you now, cause you have screwed the nurse? I donĄŻt think so brother. The doc has ordered us to take care of you, he saw you two getting a little bit too close for his comfort and decided to switch the staff. You will get nowhere near nurse Angelica from now on."

Michael heart felt cold and heavy like stone, the words that Jake had spoken were more painful to him than the beating on his swollen face. This was a cruel joke, he thought, just as he started to care for someone they were going to make it impossible for him to see her. Jake laughed as he saw that his message had a demoralizing effect on his victim and he spat in MichaelĄŻs face as he said; "You should have fucked her while you still could, white boy, now youĄŻre never gonna know how her cunt feels like."

Michael was filled with anger and jerked his head lose from his grip, flung himself forwards and rammed his head in JakeĄŻs stomach, causing him to lose his balance and fall down on the floor. "Shut up you sick bastard, you wanna have a piece of me? Come and get it!" He shouted. Jake was lying there gasping for air as Fly jumped on Michael and pushed him to the backside of the bed. "You white trash! You wanna play rough? I can play rough with you." And he reached out to strike Michael in the face, but Michael was faster and avoided the blow, he turned around while he freed his legs from under his blanket and kicked FlyĄŻs face with his heel causing a creaking noise. "Fly cried out as he reached for his nose. "Arghhhhh! You little shit, you broke my nose! IĄŻm going to kill you for that you mother fucker!" Fly flung himself on him like a mad animal and started to beat Michael up, Michael took a couple of blows on his chest, but managed to kick Fly in the testicles with his other foot. Fly cried out as he writhed and grabbed his balls in pain. Michael rolled out of bed and stood shakily beside Jake, who was still lying on the floor writhing with pain. "This is for raping me you shit head!" And Michael rammed his foot into JakeĄŻs balls as hard as he could. Jake yelled out in agony and started to shout; "You little white fuck, wait till I get my hands on you! Guards! An inmate is escaping! Catch ĄŽm! Catch the mother fucker!" Michael looked bewildered as he heard him, he had no plans of escaping but he may now have no choice left. He ran towards the door that the two men had left unlocked and rushed out of the room. Bright unnatural TL light fell on his face and blinded him partly. Michael squinted into the corridor, he couldnĄŻt recognize anything and he had no idea which way to go. He started to run in sheer panic, passing closed doors behind which he heard the screaming and yelling of madmen. Finally he reached a bifurcation. Ok, which way to go now? He panicked. Behind him, Jake was yelling for help and he would probably be able to see him if he turned around, he had to no time to lose. He turned left, rushed down the second corridor, which was also lined up with countless doors, then he reached a second bifurcation, which way now? Right, he turned right this time. As he ran down the third corridor, he saw that the end was closed with a gate. No, no, no, please donĄŻt let it be locked he pried silently. He pushed himself against the gate, he kicked against it as hard as he could but it was no use, it was locked on the outside. Just as Michael wanted to give up and turn around to try the other corridor, he heard footsteps rushing into his direction.

"There he is! Get him! Give me the keys, give me the keys!" Orderlies were rushing towards the gate, one of them was searching in his pockets for the keys. Michael started to run into the opposite direction, his heart bumping fast and his pulse racing. As he reached the last bifurcation, he turned the corner and almost knocked down Dane. Michael looked frightened and backed up as Dane approached him slowly. "Ok old pale, calm down now, nobody wants to hurt you, let me bring you back to your room. Easy now, easy." Dane reached out and grabbed MichaelĄŻs shoulder, he then grabbed him from behind and held his arms around his waist. "No! No! No! Let me go! Let me go!" Shouted Michael and flung himself backwards against the wall. Dane hurt his back and loosened his grip, Michael then banged his back into DaneĄŻs midriff, forcing him to release him. As Dane collapsed on the floor, Michael wriggled himself free. "I am sorry, I am sorry!" He started to run again, he turned left, then right, he ran till he was almost out of breath, the corridors seemed endless, then he heard voices approaching him. He turned another corner and there were Fly and a group of white-coated orderlies, running towards him. "Here he is, get him! I will teach you to break my nose you dick!" Michael turned around in panic and ran back into the corridor from which he came, the men were following him closely and he was getting tired, he might not be able to lose them anymore. In a last desperate attempt to escape, he pushed against every door that he past, hoping that one of them will be unlocked, he got lucky, a gray door with no door handle opened to the inside and Michael found himself in some kind of laundry room, piles of clothes and linens of the inmates where spread around the floor and in a corner of the room was a laundry shaft which was left open. Michael hesitated, but there was no other way out, the orderlies were catching up on him and there was no door or window he could escape trough. He swung his legs over the shaft, he was hanging with his feet above the tunnel as he realized that he didnĄŻt know how deep it was, he could be on the second store or on the 14th, if he fell unfortunately on something hard he would probably break his neck. As he hesitated, the door to the laundry room swung open and Fly stormed in with the other men. "What the fuck are you doing? Get out of there!" Shouted Fly and he rushed towards Michael to drag him out of the shaft. Michael dropped himself down the shaft tunnel. The first part of the tunnel was sloping and he was able to slide down on his back, then the tunnel made a sudden drop and he fell. Michael was screaming, his heart was racing in his throat as he reached the end of the tunnel and landed in a pile of dirty laundry. He groaned as he pulled himself from under the clothes and started heading to the door. He heard Fly swear on the other side of the shaft "Fuck! He is getting away! Get downstairs, quick!" Michael rushed into the corridor, he was at the ground floor and the inmates here were walking around freely, they stared at Michael as if they seeing a ghost. Michael started to ran, he knocked down an inmate as he turned the corner, he ran till he his lungs were burning and he felt light in his head. Finally he reached a gate that separated the clinic from the secluded part of the institute. The gate was locked but he could see people walking on the other side, family of the patients who were visiting, doctors and nurses who were attending the psychiatric patients. Michael rattled the gate furiously and started to shout; "Help! Please somebody help me! Let me out of here! Please open the gate. Open the gate! Open the fucking gate!"