I guess that technically, I should say I am bi. Though, the truth of the matter is that I used to prefer women as sex partners. I liked to cross dress and that is where the trouble started. It was The CU2004Nt gaff with the set of Real Mamms false breasts that put me in my present situation.

To those uninitiated, a gaff is something to hide the penis when a man is dressed like a woman. This particular gaff was an exceptional one, it was realistic both in how it looked and how it felt, the receptacle for the cock had an attachment that allowed the wearer to urinate in the identical way a female did and there was a vagina, an opening and a receptacle another man could stick his cock in.

The breasts were originally designed for mastectomy patients and had implants designed to hold them in place. I had the implants surgically put in and the breasts were extremely realistic, if they were worn for more than an hour they got to body temperature. They were attached extremely strong and were painful if they were fondled.

My obsession with passing myself off as a woman, drove me to great lengths, as you can tell and that is how I found myself contemplating the ultimate act of "passing," having a man fuck me without knowing that I was another man. It was just a whim at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it. Dressed, I make a plain woman, but I am very short 5' 4" tall and weigh a skimpy 125 pounds. So, I am petite enough, but facing facts, unless you are oriental, plain is the best you can do. Still, I am convincing as a "Plain Jane." That I am well off financially didn't hurt and I am not in any kind of a committed relationship, so I was relatively free to start analyzing what the criteria would be to pull this off. First, the situation had to be that the "other man" needed to not want to see me again, he would need to be drunk and it would need to be some distance from where I lived. I would need to have the whole thing video recorded for proof.

The thought intrigued me, there were several smaller towns about two days travel by auto from where I lived, that I had no real reason to return to the place, so they would be ideal for the location, drunk men in small towns would be fairly easy to find. It was the idea of how to make sure that the "other man" would never want to look me up. My experience as a man was that once you found a fuckable female you wanted to keep them available, so I assumed that other men would have a similar attitudes. That was the sticking point, so, I put the idea on the back burner for five months.

About five months after I had determined that the idea was feasible, I was watching a television program about casual or "date rape." The woman discussing the profile of these rapists indicated that they tended to be rough in the sex and wanted to get away from the victim after the fact. However, another telling fact was that often the men often injured the victim and sometimes, the victim was killed by a rapist desperate to hide the crime. The first got me excited, but the last information cooled my ardor quickly. The rough sex was not too intimidating, but I didn't want to pay for my whim with my death, so the idea went to the back burner again.

I kept the idea of rape as an option, but continued, frustrated that I almost had everything I needed to pull off the ultimate cross dressed action. About fourteen months later, a colleague who was aware of my cross dressing approached me with some interesting news. He was a biomechanical engineer and he had been working on nerve sensor implants quite successfully. He surprised me when he announced that he had been working on implants for artificial breasts and an artificial vagina. He had been approached by several organizations that were interested in adaptations of these for men. He asked me if I was willing to be the guinea pig for the items, it meant some fairly extensive surgery on the pectoral area to implant the sensors. The vagina was also attached by implants but also had a harness that attached to the penis and testes that sent signals to nerves. I agreed and some eleven months later he was rewarded with a patent for his work and I had pair of breasts and a vagina that approximated what a woman felt. It was exhilarating, there had been the uncomfortable issue of trials with other men, but it was clinical and was very educational, with the sensor implants in my chest, when the false breasts were fondled, the sensations were erotic and arousing. The vagina would drive me wild when touched and handled and I was able to orgasm when I was entered by a cock. The sensations were new and very pleasurable.

Where I was interested in my idea before, I was becoming more frustrated at the inability to act on my desire. It had evolved into a need. I was firm though, I was not going to place my life on the line. It had been over two years since I first entertained the idea of the ultimate cross dressing fantasy, the technology that I had now far outstripped the original that had allowed me to posit the idea in the first place. To compensate, I began to grow my hair longer and keep my body hair shaved. My persona softened into a more feminine one. This continued for another fifteen months, my head of hair was long and red. My daily skin care took me another step. And just after the trials, I had started a corset regimen that started to pay off. Do not misunderstand, I was still a "Plain Jane" just a more convincing one.

My frustration had reached a fever pitch, my forays out dressed as a woman became very regular, at least two or three times a week. My more frequent accessability a female added new situations, numerous times I caught guys copping a feel of my boobs, the problem was that it was stimulating and once while I was distracted, one stevedore managed to get his hand under my skirt and started to work his finger under my panties. That made me jump. I couldn't take the chance to act it out here in my home territory. The man got slapped, I tore out of the place and when I got home and stopped breathing hard, I realized that I was hot to trot, I vowed to get someone into my panties for real. I was determined to go all the way.

I had started to leave my breasts attached when I went to bed and was wearing the gaff under my male clothes. One night, while I was out dressed as a woman, I was drinking with a guy, who pulled me to him and kissed me and I was just drunk enough to french kiss him back. His hands were all over me, cupping my breasts and searching for a way to get under my skirt. Being a proper fucking tease, I did not stop him immediately and allowed him some real liberties. I finally had to physically push him off of me and leave. When I got home and took the gaff off, I was shocked to see the receptacle in the gaff filled with my own cum and my cock was still rock hard. It took some quality time in the shower to remedy that.

I had crossed the line, the next day I quit my job, arranged for ID as a female and went to a neighboring city and spent well over seven thousand dollars on clothes. I rented a place in one of the towns I had considered previously. It was far enough away that I was not known and then I moved in as a woman. I studiously avoided contact with people, as I brooded over my predicament. I still was not ready to die for the cause, but I was ready to accept more risks. When I went out, I was using women's restrooms, not that I was interested in exploiting the situation, women had lost some of their luster as sex partners. I had learned and practiced to wear heels and I actually owned a pair of six inch heels and I trained myself to navigate easily in them.

I was now at an impasse, I was as much of a female as I could manage, but the one thing I wanted was still out of reach and it was not just a fuck, I wanted to be raped, but I wanted to be raped on my terms. I was irrational and acting it, many of the safeguards I had envisioned were tossed aside. I would accept almost anything, except dying, to have my rape.

I knew that I could not do this alone, so I started looking for an accomplice. It needed to be a man. A man, who had skills in setting up surveillance cameras for undetected recording of the event. I needed some way to assure that I would not be killed. I needed a stranger, a man, that did not know my identity, but he would know about my gender. He would put me in restraint and find men to come and rape me. He would see that I lived through the ordeal and that my artificial genitalia was not harmed. Past that I really didn't care. I began looking in newspaper classifieds and yellow pages near the town I chose. I searched for this ideal partner and after another four months it paid off, I found Vern.

Vern was a surveillance specialist used by private detectives. His expertise there was beyond question. He also had a reputation of absolute confidentiality. He also had a severe mercenary streak. For the right amount of money he would do about anything, except be party to murder. He was my guy. He worked generally for 7,500.00 for a job, so, I was very confident he would be extremely interested in my proposal. We agreed to meet at a club in a town near where he lived, it was quiet and intimate and very private. I did my makeup, and wore a gray skirt that reached just above my knees, taupe hose, three inch black pumps and a white button up the back blouse that was just sheer enough to allow someone to make out the cream colored bra I wore underneath it. I might be plain looking as a woman but I had learned how to dress for best effect. The waist cincher that I wore all the time in the house had begun to pay dividends with a more female waistline. I had sent photos, but I was concerned how I would look in person to him.

I am sure that Vern had not known what to expect, but his eyebrows arched as I introduced myself. When we sat and were alone, he said simply, "So, are you really a guy?"

I nodded, "Yes, I can prove it to you if I need to, but as far as you are concerned, I might as well be a woman, because that is how I expect to be treated in this. Umm. escapade. I am pretty sure I explained the background sufficiently and the results I want to try to get. Now that you have had a look at me, do you think that what I had in mind will work?"

He chuckled at that point, "Well as far as visual, you can make it work, but you are going to be touched, I am not certain if that is something that is going to fool even some drunk guy."

I laughed back, the course that I took to develop a woman's voice added to the charade, "That is a fair question." I quickly looked around and ascertained that we would not likely be seen. I slid around the booth next to him, I pulled the blouse out from the waist of the skirt and spread my legs to allow him access and guided his hand to the blouse and said, "Here you go Vern, go ahead and check it out for yourself."

His eyes widened, but he didn't pause too long before he put his hand inside the blouse and pushed it underneath the bra. "So far, so good." He murmured, then he thrust his hand up my skirt and pushed his fingers inside the leg hole of my panties. I let him work his fingers up and into the entrance for the other guys' male members I used a lube to keep the vagina moist and it felt like the real thing. "Damn it to hell, are you sure you are a guy?"

I pulled his hand away from the gaff, less because I was afraid of being seen, but more because of the sensual shock waves it was sending, "Quite sure and if you take me someplace much more secure and private, I will show you the proof. So, what do you think? Will be able to fool some drunk guys into raping me? If you think we can, how soon can we be set up?"

Vern looked at his hand and then me,"Yes, I think I want to see that proof. We will go to my office and you can show me there. Hell, yes it can be done and I think it won't take much more than a couple of weeks. I have a place in mind, it's private and close to several bars and it's a place the police do not keep tabs on. But before we go any further, we need to talk cash." Vern looked at me expectantly, this was what he had been most interested in when I contacted him.

"Yes, money. 25,000.00 when you agree, another 50,000.00 on the day it happens. And when I come through it as agreed, alive and my cunt and tits intact, 425,000.00. I know that you checked me out, so you know I can pay it and I have worked it out with an attorney that you will be paid in cash. How you explain that much cash is your problem though." I stopped and let the thought of what I said sink in. This was more money than he had made totally in the last ten years.

Vern looked at me, he had called in some favors and knew I was on the level, still the amount of money caught him off guard. Vern fell silent and I did not try to hurry the process along. He finally drew in a sharp breath. "Ok, you are serious about this. Let me understand, I bind you up and bring men in to fuck and humiliate you and the only conditions are that you live through it and your fake cunt and tits are not hurt? Have I got the facts straight?"

"Perfectly straight. Yes I am earnestly serious about this happening and have been for over four years. I want to have this happen to me so bad, I can taste it." The look on my face confirmed the fact. I was here talking a complete stranger into having me raped by several men.

Vern shrugged, "Ok, you got yourself a deal." He stopped, I had never given him a name.

"Elizabeth, or Liz will be fine." I opened the hand bag and slid a thick manila envelope towards him, "I would like you to count it to make sure we were not shorted." Vern dutifully counted out the one hundred bills and nodded to me. I said, "Ok, then shall we go to your office, so I can show you that I am really a man?"

Vern shook his head and smiled wryly. He held up the envelope and said, "I think I can take your word for it. I will make arrangements and call you in three days." He walked me to the door and I leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek, leaving lipstick on it and hurried to my car. I drove home and waited for his call anxiously.

Punctually three days later, Vern called. "Elizabeth, the thing is set for February eighth and I need a few things before I give you the final details, but I just want to verify the conditions, you live through it and the fake cunt and tits are not damaged and those are the only conditions?"

"That's all correct Vern and I do not have any other conditions. You have the first 25,000.00 and you will get another 50,000.00 on February eighth. Then when we are successfully through the "event," you will receive the other 425,000.00 by courier." The fact was I had the 50,000.00 already and all that had to happen was that someone had to see me alive on the day I would designate to the attorney and the money would be delivered, it was already out of my hands, even if the tits and gaff were destroyed. I didn't mention that to Vern, but my foot was firmly on the path. so to speak.

"Ok Elizabeth, then, how tall are you and what is your bra size and measurements." I stalled for a moment, it was a question that I had not thought of. I saw a tape and quickly put it around my hips and got the number. "Elizabeth, are you there?" Vern asked.

"Yes Vern, I 'm here. I am five foot four inches tall. I wear a thirty six B bra and I had to take my measurements. They are thirty six, twenty five with my corset on, thirty five. Anything else?"

Yeah, do you have any other high heels than the ones I saw you in and what are the tallest heels if you do."

I was somewhat baffled by the question but answered quickly, "I have several pair of heels, the tallest are six inch heels. They are white and have an ankle and a T-strap, if that makes a difference." I waited hoping he would tell me why he was asking."

"No, I am sure the shoes will not be problem. Ok, I will call you on the fourth of February with the details." He didn't wait for a reply and hung up. I was mystified and not just a little curious about the questions, but I was not about to upset the apple cart with my goal so near. I started to thoroughly working on my skin all over my body, carefully planning my body hair schedule, to make sure of a smooth body with the exception of my head and pubic hair. I practiced my voice, not sure whether I would need to speak or not. The days seemed to crawl by. On the third of February, a package came. I opened it and found a strapless evening gown. It obviously had been tailored because when I slipped out of my bra forced myself into my corset and put it on it was a perfect fit. I was terribly excited, the dress was something that was out of the reach of most traditional cross dressers, but then I was hardly traditional. There also was a bra and panty set very red, I was confused, the dress required that I not wear a bra and then I found a garter belt and white stockings and white silk panties. The last thing in the package was a DVD with a note: "do not play until I call, Vern." I was mystified, but all I could do was wait for Vern to call.