CHAPTER TWO.



Suddenly, her phone sprung to life and his name flashed across the screen for just a moment before the battery died again. Her heart leapt. He wanted to talk to her; he wanted to talk to her right now, right this minute. Quickly she gathered up her belongings and draining her glass she headed for the phone in the pub’s entrance way. In her semi-drunken state she almost tripped over her own feet in her haste to hear his voice but then she was there, picking up the receiver and dialling his number. The phone had barely rung twice before he answered it, sounding almost as desperate as she felt.

“Is that you? he said urgently.

“Yes she replied, it’s me.”

There was a pause for a moment as they both savoured the sensation of hearing the sound of each other’s voice. It was her who broke the silence first,

“Thanks for ringing. Are you ok?”

“I am now, he answered now that I’m talking to you.”

He sounded more relaxed now, as if the tension had been building since they had last spoke and now it could all drain away again.

“Mmm, she murmured, me too.”

She tried to control the smile that was spreading over her face.

He asked her where she’d been and what she’d done and she resisted the urge to let all the evening’s disappointments come tumbling out. It would all have sounded so needy somehow and besides now that she was talking to him none of it mattered any more; so instead she asked him about his day.

He started to tell her about the jobs he’d had and some mix-up there’d been and the conversation he’d had with some relative or another and although she listened politely and made all the right noises in all the right places there was a voice inside her head that was getting louder and louder and it was all she could do to stop herself from telling him to shut-up, she didn’t care about any of it.

“I just want you to tell me what you’re going to do to me when I see you. Just talk dirty to me, she thought, almost out loud.

It occurred to her that the last part of the sentence had sounded like a prayer, but then in a way it was.

When they reached an appropriate junction in the conversation she changed the subject abruptly.

“So, she said trying to sound husky and sexy but aware that she probably just sounded drunk, tell me what you’ve got in store for me on Friday then.”

He laughed at her desperation in that careless way that he did. Somehow it always made her feel just a little self-conscious, as if he knew something she didn’t. Deep down though she kind of liked that, it made her feel inferior to him and that was certainly a nice feeling.

“Well, he said purposefully, that really depends on whether you’ve been a good girl or not, doesn’t it?”

“I have, she answered, a little too quickly to be decent which made her blush slightly.

She soon shook it off though and continued with more decorum, I have been a good girl, Sir honestly, she said meaning every word of it.

“So, are you actually telling me that you haven’t touched yourself at all?”

“No Sir, of course not, Sir she answered, shocked that he could even suggest that she would have disobeyed a direct order that he’d given her.

However, she did feel compelled to make a very slight confession,

“It’s not been easy though. Every time I think about you I get so turned on that I can hardly stand it but whenever it almost gets too much I put my hands behind my back and close my eyes and imagine us together until I manage to ride out the temptation to do anything physically.”

“Oh, I see, he replied abruptly, so not only have you actually been tempted to disobey my instructions but on top of that you’ve been fantasising too. I could have sworn I said that you were not to do anything even vaguely sexual. By now his voice had acquired a cold edge that made her nervous. You really expect me to believe that in all this time that you’ve been fantasising about us having rampant sex together you haven’t so much as once let your hand rest gently between your legs or secretly tensed your thigh muscles on the bus or yanked your jeans up into your crotch so you can feel the seam pressing against you? Go on, tell me you haven’t done any of those things. I dare you.”

She couldn’t speak. Not even to answer this man who’d so quickly come to rule her entire life (as well as her body and definitely her mind.) It had never occurred to her that his orders had included any of these things and indeed she had done all three of them and more besides all within the last twenty-four hours. She could have cried with the crushing disappointment she felt and the guilt. Oh God the guilt. It hit her like a tidal wave and left her struggling to breathe.

Before she knew where she was she was gushing out apology after apology and begging him through the tears and half-choked sobs to please forgive her for being so greedy and selfish. He’d wanted her to save herself for him, mind as well as body, so it would be all the more special when finally they could be together but she’d been so wrapped up in her own needs and desires and hadn’t seen it as anything other than a challenge to be overcome, she’d badly misunderstood what he’d wanted from her and why. And now she just wanted to curl up and die, how could she have got it so very, very wrong?

With what felt like a Herculean effort she tried to pull herself together. He was waiting. She couldn’t leave him waiting now too.

She heard herself speak in a small and strained voice that sounded as if it belonged to someone else;

“Please Sir, please. I’m so, so sorry. Please forgive me Sir, please.”

Nothing.

She swallowed hard and listened for the sound of him breathing, then tried again.

“Sir? Please?”

Still nothing.

Oh God, what had she done? What if she never heard his voice again? She started to panic.

“Please Sir, please, please?”

But there was nothing but silence at the other end of the phone.

She couldn’t think straight anymore, yet a thousand thoughts seemed to be rushing through her head at once. What if she’d really made him angry this time? What if all this had been a test and what if she’d failed it? What if he’d gone?

WHAT IF HE’D GONE?

Oh God, it felt like her whole world had fallen apart in a single moment and again she was having trouble catching her breath.

“Sir? Please, Sir. Say something. Speak to me. Please; you can’t do this to me….”

The receiver in her hand suddenly seemed to explode in her ear;

“I CAN’T DO THIS TO YOU? he thundered, clearly furious.

“I can’t do this to you? How dare you say such a thing to me, you selfish little slut. The venom in his voice made her blood run cold and she whimpered very softly to herself.

Not softly enough, however. He had heard her.

“Shut up, slut! he exclaimed, incredulous at her gall. I can’t believe you. I asked you to do one tiny little thing for me and obviously you took it upon yourself to refuse me and then you’ve got the front to keep on talking, even when I’ve already told you to be quiet. You’ve really let me down, girl. I’m not happy at all.”

He stopped speaking and waited for her to respond. She tried to fight back a fresh wave of tears and took a deep breath.

“Please Sir; I really am so very, very sorry. Please, let me try to make it up to you. I can learn to be better, honestly I can.”

There was silence for a minute and then he said quietly,

“I’m not sure that you can, you’ve really wounded me. I imagined that if I gave you an instruction you would carry it out to the letter”

She started to say that she could, she would, if only he would give her another chance but then stopped abruptly as he interrupted her angrily.

“I don’t believe it, you’re incredible. Shut the fuck up, slut. Why would you still be talking, why?”

Then without taking a breath he demanded to know where she was.

“I’m, I’m in a pub she stammered.

“Where? he persisted.

“Um”, she hesitated for barely a second before he said,

“Tell me exactly where you are, now slut. He said coldly and very slowly.

Confused and frightened, she almost whispered,

“Croydon, I’m in Croydon, East Croydon. In the High Street. Um, the pub’s called The Blue Anchor, I think.”

“You think? You think. Well, is it or isn’t it? he snapped.

She could hear him moving about as he talked and then, as she was frantically looking around for some kind of confirmation of the name of the pub, she distinctly heard a car door slam shut and the engine start and suddenly she knew…

“I’m waiting, he insisted, although quite clearly he was doing nothing of the sort.

“Yes Sir, sorry Sir.”

She was starting to babble now but just then her eyes landed on a sign over the door. She gave a sigh of relief and said,

“Yes Sir, I was right, it is The Blue Anchor and it’s in East Croydon High Street.”

“Ok, fine, but you, woman, are very rarely right, he replied hurtfully. Now stay where you are and don’t move until I get there. Do you think you can manage that alright?”

Utterly dejected, she replied in a voice that was barely audible,

“Yes Sir, I’ll be here.”

“Good, he answered abruptly and then the line went dead and she was left holding the receiver in the darkened hallway.

She felt utterly bereft. She’d let herself down and much, much worse she’d let down the man she had already come to think of as her Lord and Master. A pretty impressive achievement considering they had barely known each other for more than a few weeks and had yet to consummate their relationship. Yet somehow he knew her, he knew exactly how to affect her in ways that no-one else had ever managed before, he knew what she wanted and what she needed and he wasn’t afraid to give it to her.

She realised she was still holding the phone to her ear, that the droning sound had become strangely comforting but now she was gripping hold of it so tightly that her hand was aching. She knew she should put it down but for some reason she couldn’t quite manage to do it.

“For Heaven’s sake she thought to herself, this is absurd. Put the phone down and try and pull yourself together.”

She had no idea how long she’d been standing there but she was freezing cold and the thought occurred to her that perhaps she should go back into the warm bar. Slowly she was able to make her arm move and put back the receiver in its cradle.

“So far so good, she thought, but then she was lost, she had no idea what to do next.

However, she did remember that he’d told her to wait where she was and she had no intention of getting it wrong again. She was already in enough trouble.

She struggled to pull her coat tightly around her and managed to wrap her scarf around her neck against the cold. Then she told herself that he had said to wait so that was what she was going to do, no matter how long it would be for. Then she leant against the wall and slowly slid down to the floor in the dark corner beside the telephone. The minutes began to tick by and in an effort to protect herself from the cold draught she pulled her knees up tightly to her chest and after a while she started to drift into a fitful sleep. It didn’t take long for her to stop fighting it. At least if she slept she wouldn’t have to feel the gnawing emptiness she had in the pit of her stomach and that would be a relief at least.

Had she been a bit more alert of course, she might have realised that this was probably not such a good idea but as it was she soon fell asleep and slept in fits and starts for over an hour.

-