I didn't really think too much about the evening I'd spent with Art. I didn't see him as date potential as he obviously wasn't gay, though he certainly was attractive. A couple of days later I went to dinner at a friend's house and I casually mentioned the encounter.

Dennis was my friend from college days and his partner's name is George. George was a few years older than Dennis and me, but he was a total sweetheart of a guy and I liked him very much. I was also rather envious of the two of them and the relationship they had.

"Tell me more about this guy," Dennis said after I'd mentioned my dinner with Art. "Sounds like he was fishing for information to me." "I don't think so," I said, "I just think people are more attuned to there being gay guys out there and hell, I'm twenty-five and not getting any younger. He could well have guessed that I'm gay." "That could be," George said, "But if I were you, I'd go ahead and try and answer his questions about being gay. Even if nothing comes of it, you'll have informed another member of the straight fraternity on what being gay is all about."

Dennis and I both agreed with him, but then the subject changed and the evening progressed enjoyably. On the drive home, I couldn't quit thinking about the two of them. They were so close and clearly so much in love that it made me jealous of their relationship. If only I could have someone in my life like that, I thought. Right away, of course, Art came to mind and that made me smile. Oh yes, he could be a candidate for the job. I found him tremendously attractive and sexy, but I wasn't sure I had what it would take to help him over his ignorance or his guilt trip or whatever it was. I didn't see Art for a couple of days but I had to go out to the casting department one morning and he stopped me and invited me into his office. "Let's get together sometime soon," he said, "I really enjoyed dinner the other night. I also want to talk to you and I can't get my mind off this 'gay' subject.

I was glad he'd said 'gay' instead of 'queer' but I sure wasn't getting any read on him in this whole situation. Nonetheless, we set a date for dinner that weekend, and he agreed to come to my house. Art seemed quite agitated when he got there. I was already having a drink. I made one for him and we sat opposite each other on my balcony. "How's it going?" I asked and he just shook his head. "It's not you, man," he whispered, "It's me and it's mostly bullshit." I couldn't help myself; I laughed. He continued to grin. "Here's the deal," he said quietly when we were seated again, "When we talked about you being gay last week, it planted a seed in my head that I can't seem to shake. I really was scared that maybe I'm gay and abnormal as well." "Whoa," I said, "Stop right there. I don't think I'm abnormal because I'm gay." I said quietly. He blinked but he kept quiet. "The way I see it, each of us is either gay or straight (I deliberately left out bi) and that's the way we are. We can't change it and we didn't choose to be that way. But, if you are gay, then being gay is normal." "But why?" he asked. "How does it happen?" I shrugged. "It just is," I said. "I realized it before I turned twenty and that was that." "Tell me about you," Art said, "You seem to be so comfortable with yourself and all, I mean. How did you get that way?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Pal," I said, "My early life was so boring it was almost not worth remembering." I told him about my parents and my sister and growing up, all pretty basic boring stuff. My Dad was a successful businessman and my mom is a former teacher. We always had plenty to eat and a comfortable home. I told him about my college life, omitting everything sexual, and my experience in the Army. I explained my career, such as it briefly had been. "What about sex?" he asked, "Tell me about being gay, coming out, you know," he said very quietly.

"Okay, but let me explain how I see this whole thing. To me, and for me, being gay is normal. It's what I am and it's how I am," I said and told him the bare outline of my early experiences, not going into any detail. "But how did you feel about it?" he asked, sounding somewhat anxious, "I mean, didn't you feel guilty as hell?" That made me laugh. "No. Well, maybe a little at first, but after I met my friend and later roommate Dennis, we had many long discussions and Dennis shared his insights which just seemed so right on that I got over my concerns. Once I realized that I was gay, there was nothing to do but accept the fact. "My initial thought had been that all this was purely genetic. I mean, my parents weren't anything like the stereotypes of a domineering mother or an absent or inattentive father. I felt loved and cared for as a child and my folks weren't homophobic or anything. My Dad's wonderfully affectionate to his children. The only thing that made any sense to me was that being gay was in my genes."

"In your jeans?" Art joked. We both laughed and I explained what I'd meant. "Dennis' take was along the same lines as mine but with an added dimension. He believed that God made him gay; that it was predetermined that he'd be that way and that it was his job to live his life as best he could within that context." Art looked stunned. I was sure that no one had every suggested something like that to him before. "Wow, man," he said. "Those are whole new ideas to me, especially about the religion part. So many of those religious folks call being gay a major sin."

"Yeah, but that's just propaganda. They take one or two little phrases and base a whole lot of hate on them while ignoring all the things the Bible says about love. As a Christian, it's more important to me that Jesus never said anything bad about homosexuality. He told us to love each other." "So, does your family know you're gay?" Art asked.

"Yeah, ever since my junior year in college," I answered, "I'm too close to my parents to let anything mess up our relationship." I laughed. "They're just upset that I haven't found anyone to have a relationship with. They worry that I'm lonely, which, in a way, I am." "That's cool that they are so accepting of it," Art said. Gradually the subject changed to other matters and we went out to dinner and spent a chatty, fun evening together. I figured we'd said all we needed to say on the subject.

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