We always knew there was a chance wed get caught, that was part of the turn on for us. Zack and liked the thrill of it. Giving each other head in the showers after basketball practice had become one of our favorite things to do. But today things changed. We thought everyone had left, so we got to business. Zack was really doing a job on my hard cock, sucking like his life depended on it; while using his finger to massage and probe at my tight virgin asshole.

Sometimes, when I was a high school junior, I would do this at home after school. There was no one in the house till my mother got through at work and got home at eleven ten every night. I would lock the doors as soon as I got home. My Boston Bulldog, Ricky, having died the year before, I had no one to talk with. I had one friend in high school. I had one summer month friend. And a girl who visited her grandmother every summer.

And I pretended to him that I was the last one, J., the one with the most frigid of hearts, I tried to convince Kim that I was J. with heart melted and humanity put inside him, who would rush to him one fine day out in the golden sunshine, and put his arms around him, around Kim and hold him and tell Kim he would never ever go away again. Kim, who, when the sun comes out these fall and winter months, has to have the curtains drawn against it. I think of all, that is the saddest parts. It was no good pretending.

I always stopped at the same place after I left Joels house. A half-mile away. Thursday night around ten or ten thirty. Joels familys house was the only one within a few miles. The radio would be playing "American Pie," or "Vincent" or "City of New Orleans." If the weather was warm or hot summer or cool Fall, or even cold winter, I would turn off the ignition, roll down the window, and have the music playing low.

Wolves of were howl, And the cold winds blow. The nights tick by shorter Now. The sky tastes snow. The nights are sable. Halloween quick and hurry Now to me. I had been running. The kind of running a person does for a long time without being aware of it. It was two days till Halloween. There had been ghosts on my neck and on my hands.

He pressed the chords as deeply as he could. Surely this would get him through Sunday morning. Sunday morning was his least favorite time of the week. He thought it was worse than Sunday afternoon and evening. Everything was dead on Sunday morning. It seemed the world closed up shop then, more tightly closed than the rest of the Terrible Thunder Lizard, which was the whole of Sunday.

My Mistress picked me up from school a little early that day. There she was waiting by the car minutes before the last bell. Since I was a senior and it was my free period, I was aloud to leave early. As I walked towards her I could see that she was pretty pissed off. When I reached her I found out why. You didnt do any of your morning chores. You just left the place a fucking mess! And you damn well knew I was having company for

We had just had sex. It used to be that we made love. Or he made love not to me. I made love to him. It was so stupidly ironicI couldnt stand him for a long time. He did not pursue me or even speak to me. But he did do that a hundred times over, by avoiding me, looking away from me when I accidentally looked at him. We had had student housing at Traylor University. Now we live in a cruddy apartment where the roaches stay for free. Wish I had a roach right now. Wed toke up and hed cry and be sad and Id pretend to comfort him. But the act was growing stale. The act was getting tiresome. We were on the real world path now.

Our love knits us together. We had been changelings up until now. The winter moon shines in our cabin window. We lie on our bed. We are hard, naked, holding together. Hand to hand. Flesh to flesh. The cabin fire glows. Salvation is here. We yearn for each other. Our songs singly have become our songs as one. We are names mixed in brightly colored paints.

John came to him in the nighttime hours. They lay together, without a word. He was a man of eloquent silences, this man who would come to be known as Jesus. He was a man who John the Beloved was named for; predestinator, passionate profit, this man who was his friendsharp and firebrand, running the money lenders out of the temple, lashing the thieves and their dens in their hatred of him and the guilt of gold in their gilded eyes. There was a rich world outside Palestine. There were teams that would carry them. Magnificent steeds that would take them far away from the morrow. But though John tried to convince this man who was also his lover, Jesus who would come to be